


Pain

by lovelymalum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, Abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Cute, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Gay, Lashton - Freeform, Love, Teen love, Teenagers, Violence, cute relationship, teens raising children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:44:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 26,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelymalum/pseuds/lovelymalum
Summary: Ashton Irwin hated his life. His parents caused him misery, anxiety, and led to the start of his horrid depression. His purpose for living was his two younger siblings. Lauren and Harry. That is, until he meets Luke Hemmings.Luke becomes Ashton's lifeline of sorts. Once they meet, Ashton questions how he ever survived without the cute blonde.





	1. One

Warnings: trigger warning (self-harm, depression, mention of suicide), (possible) smut warning, keep in mind this story is 16+ for a reason

 

Chapter One

 

 

My head was pounding when I was suddenly awoken by glass smashing in the kitchen. After glancing at my alarm clock, I sit up. No point in me going back to sleep, I have to be up for school in half an hour anyway. Besides, now that my parents are awake, I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I wanted to. Instead, I drag myself out of bed, trudge to my closet, and pull out a hoodie before tugging it onto my naked torso.

I needed to check on my twin siblings, Lauren and Harry, to make sure my parents' drunk endeavors didn't leave them injured. If it was up to me, Lauren and Harry (who are only a year old) would stay by my side at all times. But sadly, school is still a requirement, and I have a part-time job at a local movie theater.

My siblings were still sleeping when I reached their bedroom, which gave me peace of mind. I tip-toed my way to their crib (that, yes, they shared, no matter how unsafe that was. My parents didn't care) so that I wouldn't wake them. Upon inspection they both seemed okay, other than a few bumps and bruises that were already there. When my parents were drunk, nobody is off-limits, including the innocent babies.

When I say parents, I'm actually referring to my mom and step-dad. My real dad had died when I was just the twins' age, so I didn't remember much about him, other than that he had a thick mustache and always smelled of cigars. I like to imagine him as a kind, gentle, and loving father, which is the opposite of my stepdad, Rob. My mom on her own was never this bad. Maybe a bit emotionally detached, but at least she kept her hands to herself.

I made sure Lauren and Harry had clean diapers before exiting back to my bedroom as quietly as I could; I didn't want my mother and Rob knowing I was awake just yet. I still had some time to myself, which was rare. I hoped they would fall back asleep, but no such luck. I heard my mother coughing from the kitchen, and I could smell the 'breakfast' Rob was attempting to cook burning in the kitchen. One day he's going to burn the house down trying to cook, and, as mean as it sounds, I could only hope Rob was stuck inside when that day came.

I checked my clock again from my bedroom. It was time to start getting ready. It was already 6:34 and school started at 8:00. I had roughly half an hour to finish getting ready to make it to school on time since I'd have to walk. I was saving up for a car with the job that my parents didn't know about (because they'd surely take all of my money if they did find out).

Hopefully by the end of the school year, I wouldn't be dependent on my parents anymore. I already had about $600 in savings from the past year of working, which has helped a lot. There were car dealerships in my town that sold used cars affordably, so that;s where I'll be going when I finally move out.

I broke myself out of my thoughts and dragged myself to my closet once more. I threw on a pair of ripped black skinnies to go along with my hoodie. It was summer, but I couldn't wear short sleeves anyway. Too many scars littered my arms.

I could still hear my parents in the kitchen. I'd have to face them before I left. My mom wasn't so bad. She was harmless, unless she was messed up on whatever drug she could afford that day. Even then, she never got physical. She just knew all the stuff to say to really hurt you. Rob, on the other hand, was big. He was a professional fighter in college, so he was tough other than his growing beer gut.

Sneaking out the window was always an option, but the neighbors notice that. I didn't want attention drawn to my family because then it risks the twins being taken away; I was almost eighteen. I planned on moving out and taking Lauren and Harry with me this summer when school is out. I didn't know how I would afford it, but I knew that I had to.

I grabbed my backpack (that still had my work clothes in it from yesterday's shift) and headed out my bedroom door. It was only 6:46, but I knew Rob wouldn't let me pass by without messing with me.

"Anne," I could hear Rob saying, "Who's watching the little shits today?" I cringed at how he talked about the twins, but I couldn't say anything about it. It was for my safety and theirs; he'd hurt them just to prove a point to me. I wanted to wait for my mom to answer, but I knew they knew I was in the hallway. Rob would punish me for 'spying' if I didn't make my presence known.

I could feel them both looking at me as I left the hallway and entered the living room. They were seated at the kitchen table drinking coffee (which was no doubt spiked with whatever leftover alcohol they had from yesterday). Since neither of them said anything, I began to walk faster. Hopefully they wouldn't bother me.

"Ashton!" Rob yelled. Clearly today wasn't my lucky day.

I stopped walking and slowly turned to face him. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a stained wife-beater tank top. How ironic. He didn't stand from the kitchen table, which I was grateful for.

"I expect you to be home after school today. No sneaking off like yesterday, you understand?" I nodded and he gritted his teeth, "now get the fuck out."

I rushed out the door after that, not wanting to stick around for anymore. That was mild; usually I had to take at least one hit before school. I knew that I'd pay for it tonight, though. I had to go to work. And Rob was going to be pissed.


	2. Chapter 2

My walk to school involved a lot of thinking. It was about an hour walk, so that gave me plenty of time to think about whatever was troubling me for the day. Right now, it was thinking of what Rob would do to me tonight. Nothing was off limits for him. Ideally, he'd be sleeping by the time I got home. But I knew that I wasn't that lucky. He'd be waiting for me.

A car passed by me and honked. They rolled down the windows and shouted things at me, probably hurtful slurs and insults, but I didn't pay attention. I tried to not let bullies at school bother me. Realistically, they did bother me. A lot. But I was preoccupied with anxiety about my stepdad.

The walk went by quickly and before I knew it, I was entering Roosevelt High, the place that had initially caused my anxiety and self-esteem issues. Ah, high school. Luckily at this point I was a senior. I don't think I could handle more than a few more months at this place. It was November and the weather was starting to turn cold. Leaves were falling from the trees and my shoes were wet with morning dew when I reached the school. I dried my feet on the rugs inside the doorway because the last thing I needed was to slip and fall; I was bullied enough already.

After a trip to my locker (where it was slammed shut by passerby's twice before I was able to get my stuff out) I made my way to class. I had English for first period, which I was grateful for. I'd always been good at English so I never had to be too awake or focused in this class. I was able to nap often (when the other students would take a break from tormenting me, that is) and I never had to try.

I took my seat by the window and stared outside, waiting on class to start. My scatterbrained teacher entered the classroom, wearing a typical kooky outfit. Today she had chopsticks in her hair, baggy cargo pants with pockets on the knees, and a form-fitting chunky knit sweater. You could tell by looking at her that she was trying to fit in with the students by the way she dressed. Maybe somebody should tell her that cargo pants haven't been in style for over ten years. Oh well.

"Mr. Irwin, early as always," She commented, nodding at me. I could see one of the chopsticks start to slip, but she quickly pushed it back into place.

I blush and nod instead of replying. A group of boys (whose names I didn't know but liked to call dumb, dumber, and dumbest) walked in and took their seats. One of them looked at me and laughed while mumbling 'ew', but other than that, I was left alone for now. They were busy talking and aweing over the weekend they had (I caught bits and pieces of a story about dumber being so stoned that he had to sleep in a cemetery overnight because he couldn't drive home). I was disgusted with their version of a fun weekend, but to each their own.

Students continued filing in (all of them either ignoring me or mocking me) and class soon began. Mrs. Chopsticks began her lesson on archetypes, and I could hear snoring from behind me. She was talking about her plans to make us watch The Little Mermaid to point out archetypes when the door swung open and a blonde boy I didn't recognize walked in. Everybody stared at him and I heard a girl behind me whisper "hot damn". The boy was, in fact, cute.

"Oh, you must be the new student, Luke," the teacher smiled and nodded like she knew he was coming all along. The boy nodded and walked into the room. He kept his head down until Mrs. Chopsticks told him to take a seat. He barely raised his head and he glanced around the room. The first place he looked was the back corner, but after seeing it was full, he seemed to take interest in the open seat by the window. The seat in front of mine. He walked toward it until somebody stopped him.

"Dude, you can sit next to me. You don't want to sit by Irwin. He's a freak."

The boy shook his head and quietly mumbled a 'no thank you' before taking the seat in front of me. As soon as he sat down, he turned in his chair, smiled at me, and muttered, "My name's Luke."

My heart fluttered. I couldn't believe he actually chose to sit by me, even after he was 'warned' about me. I was a freak. And I was unbelievably happy that somebody chose to sit with me.

Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.


	3. Chapter 3

English went by rather quickly – much quicker than I would’ve liked. I wanted Luke to say something else to me. My heart fluttered at the thought of his velvety voice speaking to me again. I know, I know. I sound like a lovestruck teenager. I guess you could blame it on the fact that nobody has ever really paid much attention to me before; now that somebody is, I’m craving it.

I had math after English, and it also went by quickly (you know, if you could ignore the spitballs and paper wads being thrown at the back of your head the entire period) and I had study hall next. I’d always excelled in school, so I could count on having at least one free period every school year. I usually spent my free period in the courtyard writing poetry, but today, I didn’t want to.

I made my way to the library and peered inside, making sure there was nobody inside. At my school, nobody used the library. Not even teachers, not even the “geeks”. If you needed a place to yourself, the library was the spot for it. The librarian was a sweet lady in at least her sixties. Her hair was a white pouf atop her head and she always smelled like mothballs. She knew me by name and was always thrilled to see me come in.

The library was my safe haven on days like today; my anxiety was high and I was on-edge. I was still scared about what was bound to happen to me when I returned home, and not even the escape of poetry could break my thoughts out of it. I needed a nap, and the library was the only place I could take one without the fear of being disturbed.

Ms. Rayne (the librarian) greeted me as I walked past her desk, and I mumbled a simple ‘hello’ in return. I was headed to my favorite spot, the darkest corner in the library that had a couch. It was perfect for napping.

Upon arrival, I saw a boy sitting on the couch already. Odd. Nobody ever comes to the library. He must’ve heard my footsteps because he turned his head. I gasped and began to blush. The boy was Luke.

“Uh,” Luke muttered, “Hey. I didn’t take your spot, did I?”

“Well, kinda,” I admitted with a smirk, “but that’s okay. You were here first. I can find somewhere else to sit.” Luke shook his head and scooted over.

“No, sit here. I don’t mind sharing,” he smiled and patted the spot next to him. Reluctantly, I sat down.

“You never told me your name,” Luke reminded me.

I looked down and fiddled with the sleeves of my sweatshirt before stuttering out, “I’m A-Ashton.”

“Ashton,” Luke seemed to be testing the name, “I like that. It suits you.”

I blushed again and smiled, but didn’t reply. I was scared to. Luke was sure to just leave, like everybody else in my life. He wouldn’t stay. Nobody ever did.

But whether I wanted to admit it or not, I enjoyed his company. I liked him sitting next to me. His smile was enough to make me melt and (is this weird?) I loved how he smelled. I was enjoying his company while I could, but I was being cautious.

“What’s the matter?” Luke asked, turning to face me. His bright blue eyes pierced into me and I wanted to be able to trust him; to open up and tell him about my life. But I couldn’t do that.

“Nothing,” I lied, “Nothing at all.”

When Luke looked at me, I could tell he knew I was lying. He knew I knew that he knew I was lying. But neither of us said a thing. Instead, we sat in a comfortable silence until free period was over and we both had to make our way to our next class.


	4. Chapter 4

School was over (it went by quicker than most days since I had Luke occupying my thoughts) and I had to change into my work uniform in the school bathroom. I wouldn't have an opportunity to do it after I got to work.

Once I was changed, I grabbed my backpack and began the short walk to the theater. My walk was filled with thoughts about Luke. Why was I having these feelings for the boy? I'd never thought of another guy as 'cute' before. I didn't understand why it was happening; I wasn't gay. At least I didn't think I was. I shook the thoughts away.

I could see the theater on the hill and my nerves picked up; I didn't like the people I worked with and I could tell that they didn't like me either. They didn't bully me like the jackasses at school did, but my coworkers did have a way of excluding me from everything, including having a place to sit during my lunch breaks.

I walked through the door and clocked in. My coworkers stared at me as I made my way behind the counter and threw my messenger bag down in my cubby. I combed through my hair with my fingers and sighed. Hopefully we would be busy. It would at least keep me distracted.

All too soon my shift was over and it was time for me to leave. I changed into my hoodie and jeans before I left so that my mom and Rob wouldn't know where I was. Hopefully Rob was passed out from whatever drugs he took today and wouldn't notice me coming home late, but my luck hadn't been very good lately.

I blasted Blink-182 through my earbuds as I was walking home along the railroad tracks. If I was lucky enough, I wouldn't hear a train coming and I'd be taken out of my misery. I knew it was unlikely, but I could hope, right?

All too soon I was back home and trying to open the back door as quietly as I could. I could hear the TV blaring in the living room, so the back door was the best option. I knew that if I could just make it through the door and into the hallway that I would be safe. I creaked open the door and stepped inside; so far so good. I slowly shut the door and began to tip-toe towards the hall.

Suddenly, I felt something under my foot and heard a crunching noise. I sighed and glanced down. There was a beer can on the floor and I'd stepped on it. I heard the couch creak and I knew that I'd been heard. I was coming home late for the second night in a row. This was going to be a bad punishment.

"Well, Ashton. I'm glad you finally decided to come home," Rob chuckled, "There's quite the mess in your room for you to clean up." My mind began racing as I thought of all the disgusting things he could've put in my bedroom.

I tilted my head down, avoiding eye contact, and I was met with a sharp strike against my cheek.

"Look at me, you piece of shit," Rob snarled. I obeyed and met his eyes with my own.

Rob demanded I tell him where I was, and when I couldn't provide an answer, he clenched his fist and swung it at my jaw. My knees buckled and I fought to keep my balance. If I fell, I knew I'd get hurt a lot worse. Rob asked, once again, where I was. I shook my head.

"You just don't learn, do you? Well, I guess I'll have to teach you then." He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and shoved me against the wall. I could smell his sour breath in my face as he called me every slur imaginable. He spit in my face before grabbing me by my hair and slamming my head against the wall as hard as he could. I started to get dizzy and Rob dropped me to the floor.

My hand instantly went to the back of my head. I felt the sticky, warm feeling of blood. I made myself crawl pitifully to my bedroom before shutting and locking the door. My bedroom was, in fact, trashed, but I didn't care. I scooted all of the junk from my bed and curled up before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of taking this story in an entirely new direction. If so, buckle up. It's about to get hectic real quick.


	5. Chapter 5

I awoke with a pounding headache and my mouth bone-dry. I checked the time. 4:13AM. It was likely that Rob and my mother were both passed out, so I scooted out of bed. Immediately I felt shooting pain all throughout my body. I glanced down and even in the darkness I could make out several bruises on my body. Rob had actually taken it easy on me last night, and I was definitely grateful.

Once I had finally inched my way out of my bed and tiptoed to my bedroom door, I placed my ear against it and listened. I heard heavy snoring from across the hall, signaling that Rob, at least, was in his bedroom sleeping. Once he’d passed out, he was a heavy sleeper; I knew I didn’t have to risk waking him up. Even so, I ever-so-slowly opened the door and peered out. I still heard consistent snoring, so I crept down the hall and into the kitchen. My mom was passed out at the kitchen table, which was common for her, so I quieted myself down to avoid waking her.

I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with tap water and made my way to my room again. I made sure to shut my bedroom door quietly before flipping on the light. I gasped when dull yellow light flooded my room. There was a large crimson stain on my pillowcase. I’d forgotten about my head injury. The hand that wasn’t holding my glass of water instinctively went to the back of my head and I flinched. I could feel the dried, crusty blood in my hair and the skin was starting to scab. I’d have to shower before school today. I knew that it was in my best interest to shower before Rob woke up, so I quickly chugged my cold water before grabbing clean clothes and a towel and making my way to the bathroom.

Our showerhead was noisy and rusty, so I opted for washing my head in the sink. I grabbed some shampoo and dunked my head under the sink faucet and wanted to yelp at the pain from my wound. I made myself stay quiet and lathered some shampoo in my hands before scrubbing my head with it. I was trying to be as gentle as possible so that I didn’t break open the scab, and thankfully, the blood washed out of my hair with ease. 

Once my hair was clean, I carefully dried my hair with the towel (again, trying not to bust open my scab) and returned to my dirty bedroom. I didn’t have work today, which was bittersweet. On one hand, I didn’t have to risk another beating, but on the other hand, I’d be home with Rob and my mom all day. But it also meant I’d be home to prevent anything from happening to Lauren and Harry, so I was definitely okay with it.

I remembered that I never got the chance to check on the twins when I got home last night, so instead of going back to my bedroom, I went to their and scooped them from their beds. They were both sleeping soundly and continued to do so as I carried them back to my room. Once in my bedroom, I locked the door and examined them for bruises. Upon inspection, I saw none. I was still exhausted and could get by with sleeping for another hour, so I made sure the twins were comfortable on my bed and I made myself a spot on the floor. I set an alarm on my phone for 6:00AM and drifted back off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapters coming soon!


	6. Chapter 6

My extra hour to sleep flashed by way too quickly and all too soon I was sitting in English class, zoning out and staring at the back of Luke’s head. So far, he’d managed to flash me a few smiles during the lesson, but he hadn’t spoken to me. Maybe it was for the best. My feelings for him were getting way too strong way too quickly and I needed to slow things down. Sure, we’d only spoken twice, but I could tell I was falling for him, as weird as that sounded.

The bell rang and I rushed to pack up my stuff. I could tell Luke was doing the same, except he seemed to be more organized about it, whereas I threw stuff in my bag wherever it could fit. Luke was organizing his belongings by size so they’d fit in his backpack more comfortably; I wish I had the patience for that. Maybe then I’d be able to fit all of my notebooks in my bag and wouldn’t need to go to my locker so often. Oh well.

I finally got my bag to zip and I threw it over my shoulder before rushing out of the classroom. As I was about to turn the corner and head to my next class, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around, expecting my usual tormenters, but instead I was greeted with Luke’s shy smile.

“Hey, Ashton,” Luke bit his lip, “I noticed your, um, bruises today. And I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be in the library again if you want to talk about it.” I blushed and looked down. Luke said something about needing to hurry to make it to his next class in time, and I must’ve nodded because just as quickly as he was next to me, he was gone. I knew I was going to meet him in the library again. As much as I wanted to avoid him, to block him out before I got too close, I couldn’t. I needed to get to know him.

\--

Math seemed agonizingly slow since I was aching to get to the library. Once the bell finally rang, I didn’t even bother to pack my stuff up; I threw my bag on my arm and carried my books. I speed-walked through the halls until I finally reached the library doors. I stood outside for a second to collect my thoughts before finally entering.

As usual, there was nobody inside. Not even a librarian. Odd, but not too odd. There wasn’t much of a need to keep an eye on things; it was a rarity when somebody even stepped foot inside.

I walked slowly to the back corner where the couch was located, and I was relieved to see that Luke was already there. He didn’t turn around right away, so I cleared my throat, which made him jump. He turned to face me and smiled shyly.

“You can come sit down, you know,” He teased me lightly before patting the spot next to him. I nodded and forced my legs to move forward and took a seat on the old couch next to him. Luke turned sideways to face me once I was finally next to him. He was waiting for me to talk.

I stared down at my hands again. You could see dark bruises poking out from the sleeves of my hoodie. I pulled the sleeves down as far as they would go and sighed.

“Ashton,” Luke said softly, making me turn to look at him, “you can talk to me. You don’t have to be scared of me.” I trusted him. In that moment, when it was just the two of us and his eyes were locked on mine, I trusted him.

“I’m not scared of you,” I half-whispered, “I just don’t think you want to hear it all.” Luke gave me sympathetic eyes. Nobody has felt sympathy for me in a long time. Most people hate it, but it felt great just to be able to tell that somebody cared.

“Then don’t tell me,” Luke gently grasped at my arm, “Let me look for myself.” His fingers brushed the sleeves of my hoodie before looking back up at me. I could tell he was asking for permission to lift my sleeves. I slowly nodded.

As soon as he began to raise my sleeves, I tensed. I knew he was going to be scared off by what he saw. He could sense my fear and he pulled his hand away.

“If you don’t want me to look then I won’t. You don’t even have to talk to me about it. But at least talk to me about something.”

Luke and I spent the rest of our free period getting to know each other. We talked about our families (I mainly talked about Lauren and Harry) and he told me about his life before he moved here.

Best of all, we agreed to meet each other in the library every day for our study halls. I know I just met Luke, but I was really starting to like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of new Lashton scenes after this chapter! Maybe some mild smut soon?
> 
> If you want to get updates quicker, you can read the story on Movellas. Same title. My username is Brielle_Bella. I have up to chapter nine on Movellas.


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of the school day passed in a haze and I soon found myself walking into the living room of my house. Rob was laying on the floor, a bottle of what seemed to be vodka in his hand and various pills spilled on the floor around him. I could see his chest rising and falling, telling me that the bastard was still alive. Damn.

My mom must have been in her bedroom sleeping, because her car was here, and she was nowhere to be seen. My first instinct was to check on the twins, so that is where I went. Lauren was sleeping in her crib and Harry was lying on the floor, babbling away. I picked both of them up and carried them to my bedroom and made sure the door was locked tightly behind us. I set the babies on my bed, made sure they were safe from falling off, and busied myself with cleaning up.

My room was still trashed from Rob, and I needed to make sure that he didn’t touch the things in my bottom drawer. I ripped the drawer from my dresser and pulled out the white envelope from the pocket of an oversized sweatshirt I never wore. I breathed a sigh of relief as I opened the envelope and examined the contents.

All of my hard-earned money was still there. Along with that, there was a single picture of my father and me, and then there were the things I hoped to never use again: three shiny razor blades. I hadn’t touched them in a month, which is the longest I’d ever gone without using them.

I shoved everything back inside and replaced the envelope inside of the sweater. I glanced back at my siblings, thinking about how far we could make that $600 last. Probably just a few nights in a hotel, sadly.

Lauren started to stir in her sleep, so I broke myself out of my thoughts and sat down on my bed and pulled my little sister into my arms. As she rolled over, I could see a large bruise in the shape of a hand across her back. I felt myself boil with rage.

I laid Lauren back onto my bed and began to form a plan. I knew I had to get them out of here; they were just babies. Rob would end up killing them (and possibly me) if we stayed. I couldn’t afford to leave right now. $600 wouldn’t get us far. I’d be here for another week, tops. With my next paycheck, that’ll bring my savings to a little over $800. We could make that work.

I needed a car, but I could always take my mom and Rob’s. They probably wouldn’t even notice it was gone. Neither of them had left the house in over a month, anyway. I would pack them up and we would leave in the middle of the night. Nobody would notice.

As far as school goes, I wasn’t above dropping out. It was worth it for Lauren and Harry. They needed protection, and I couldn’t give it to them from here.

“I’m going to get you guys out of here,” I whispered to my sleeping siblings, “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shitstorm coming at chapter thirteen-ish. watch for that.


	8. Chapter 8

It was nearly bedtime and my mom still hadn’t emerged from her bedroom. Rob was still passed out on the couch and there was nothing to eat here. The twins were nearly out of diapers and I knew that my parents weren’t going to prove them. I didn’t want to risk the punishment for taking Rob’s car, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I pulled out my cracked phone and began searching for Luke on Facebook. He had told me I could come to him with any of my problems, and I’d noticed that he arrived to school driving his own car, so I figured this was the simplest way to solve my problem.

Once I found Luke, I sent him a quick message asking if he was busy, and he responded within minutes telling me no. As I was typing a reply, he called me on Facebook audio and I answered nervously.

“Hey, Luke,” I sighed into my phone.

“What’s up, Ash? What’s the matter?”

I explained what was going on to him, but I conveniently left out the part about my parents’ being knocked out from drugs and used the excuse that they were sick. I could tell that he didn’t entirely believe me, but either way, he agreed to come by.

“Send me your address and I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Luke said and I grinned.

“I’ll text it to you when we get off the phone.”

I thanked Luke once (several times) more and hung up. I sent him my address and he responded immediately with the thumbs up emoji. Since I didn’t have a car seat for Lauren and Harry, they would have to wait here, which made me nervous. But I knew that they were going to need more diapers soon and I needed to get something to eat.

Before long, I got a message from Luke saying he would be at my house in less than a minute. I took my siblings to their room and laid them down in their shared crib, feeling a bit better when they laid down and seemed to go to sleep right away. After this, I grabbed a light jacket and made my way out the back door and walked around to the front of the house to wait on Luke.

Just a few seconds later, he pulled into the driveway and I walked around the car to sit in the passenger seat. I waited on him to unlock the door, and when he did, I slid into the seat. He glanced at me, opened his mouth to say something, and closed it again.

“What’s the matter?” I asked nervously, picking at the sleeves of my hoodie.

“I just-“ Luke started, before closing his mouth and looking up. He appeared to be searching for the right thing to say. I remained silent until Luke figured his words out. “I just want you to feel like you can tell me what’s going on. I know there’s more to this than your parents just being sick. I’ve seen your bruises, Ashton. I can put the pieces together. I just want to hear the story from you. You can trust me, Ashton. I promise.”

I could feel tears forming in my eyes. Nobody had paid enough attention to me in the past to notice these things, and now that somebody was, I didn’t know how to handle it.

“Okay,” I took a deep breath, “Okay, Luke. I’ll tell you everything.”

He glanced at me and bit his lip ring before speaking. “Do you want to go somewhere and park? Or we could go to a diner or something?”

“Well, I’m kind of in a hurry,” I admitted, “But I think I have time to go to a diner for a little while.”

Luke grinned and put his car into reverse before backing out of my driveway. He told me that he knew of this great place up the street, so that’s where we were going. We kept the conversation light on the car ride and I was trying to figure out what I would say.

I was nervous about telling him everything, but I knew I was ready to talk. I had to tell somebody, and I knew that Luke was the best option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	9. Chapter 9

Luke and I were soon seated across from each other in a desolate diner. There were no other customers inside, so we had plenty of privacy. Luke waited until after the waitress had come over to take our orders before asking questions.

“Okay,” I sighed, “Okay. I’ll tell you the story. But you have to promise me that you won’t give me any pity after this.”

“Fair,” Luke agreed and waited patiently for me to begin.

“I think everything started when my dad died. I was only one, so I don’t remember him. But I knew from a young age that his death messed my mom up. She never wanted to spend time with me, and I would hear her in her room crying most nights. She never showed interest in, well, anything. Until three years ago.

“That’s when Rob showed up. I could tell from the start that my mom shouldn’t be around him. He was always high on something and I knew that it was a matter of time before my mom got hooked on whatever drug it was that he was doing. But at that time, it was just drugs. They kept to themselves, I kept to mine. Nobody got hurt.”

“Then what?” Luke questioned, “what changed?”

“They switched to harder drugs,” I said shakily, “they both got really bad into meth. Couldn’t go even a day without it. They needed it to function. Well, one day that they were out of it and couldn’t afford to get more, Rob was pissed off, and I guess I was in his way. That was the first time he hit me. And I guess he decided it felt good, because it’s been an almost daily occurrence since. 

“Then my mom found out that she was pregnant. As soon as she found out that she was expecting the twins, she decided to get clean and give up drugs. She did, too. She stayed off of drugs her entire pregnancy. Rob never got sober, though, and as soon as my mom gave birth, my mom relapsed. She’s never tried to get clean since.”

“Is she a good mom, though? Does she take care of the twins?”

“In the beginning she did. Even when she was on drugs in the beginning, she took care of the babies. Wouldn’t let Rob near them. But then she tried heroin. She’s never been the same. I never would’ve considered my mom a junkie before she tried the heroin. Now, she does anything she has to do to get her fix. Rob too, for that matter. Anything valuable we used to have, one of them sold for drug money. I’m the one taking care of Lauren and Harry because neither of them will do it.”

Luke stared at me but didn’t say anything. Luckily, though, the waitress brought our food over and neither of us had to say anything.

It wasn’t until all of our food was gone that Luke spoke.

“I wish I was as strong as you,” he whispered, staring into my eyes. I couldn’t help but blush.

“Strong? What do you mean?” 

“You’ve basically raised yourself your entire life. That’s incredible. You’re stronger than anybody I know.”

I buried my face in my hands to hide my blush. It felt great having told somebody this story, but I wasn’t used to all of the attention. Strangely, though, I kind of enjoyed the attention from Luke.

“Let’s go, Ashy. You have babies at home that need food,” Luke reminded me and I nodded, trying to ignore the nickname. I didn’t want to blush again.

So, we paid the bill (Luke insisted on paying so I left the tip) and headed to the store. It wasn’t long before I was being dropped back off at home.


	10. Chapter 10

Before I knew it, I was sitting in English class the next day. Luke was seated in front of me, and I kept my hand discretely on his back the entire period. Every now and then, he would turn around and send me a shy smile, telling me that he liked my hand on his back.

Sadly, though, English passed by quickly and we had to rush to pack our things and make it to our next class.

“Remember,” Luke told me in told me in the hallway, “meet me in the library.” I nodded and we both went our separate ways.

\--

When study hall finally came around, I ran down the hallways to the library. I couldn’t wait to see Luke. He’d quickly become an important part in my life (the most important person in my life, second to the twins).

I threw open the library door and walked back to our hidden corner to find that Luke hadn’t arrived yet. I was disappointed, but I sat down on the couch and waited on him.

Thankfully I didn’t have to wait long, since he showed up less than five minutes later.

“Sorry it took me so long, I had to stop at my locker first,” He explained, and I nodded.

“It’s fine, I’m patient.” Luke sat down next to me and threw his backpack on the floor.

“Do you have any tests or anything today?” Luke questioned and I shook my head.

“No. Why?”

“Come on,” Luke stood back up and offered his hand out to me, “Let’s ditch. I’m not feeling school today.” I grinned and took his hand, allowing his help up. On the walk out to his car, we had to be careful of any nearby teachers. We were almost caught coming out the door, but thankfully the teacher was busy looking at her cellphone and didn’t notice.

We snuck out the door and sprinted towards the student parking lot, and once we were in the safety of his car, Luke dug the keys out of his backpack.

“Where to?” I asked and Luke shrugged.

“My house if you want. My parents will be at work until later.” I agreed and Luke started his car up. We drove to his house (which was extremely close by) in silence.

Once we arrived, Luke pulled his car into the garage so that none of the neighbors noticed him home so early.

His house was fairly large (two stories with a garage. It was a mansion in my book) and as soon as we stepped in the door, it felt warm and inviting. It was like a house in the movies. It was the kind of house I wish I lived in.

We kicked our shoes off by the door and Luke led me upstairs to his bedroom.

“We can play Fifa or something if you want,” He offered and I shook my head.

“No, thanks. I don’t like Fifa.”

Luke’s eyes went wide. He acted as if I said I didn’t like puppies or something.

“Okay then, we can find a movie to watch. What kinds of things are you interested in?” he asked. In the end, we decided on a scary movie marathon and we sprawled out across his bed. We both decided we were hungry before long, so we called and ordered a pizza. As we waited on it to get there, Luke paused the movie and turned to me.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “about what you told me yesterday. What if you ran away? Took the twins? Started a new life?”

“With what money?” I sighed, “this is stuff I’ve thought about before. I’ve only got about $600 saved up.”

“Well…” Luke started, “What if someone that has plenty of money came with you? Then you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

“Yeah,” I snorted, “Like who?”

Luke went silent for a moment before whispering out, “Me.”

“What?” I asked.

“Me. I could go with you,” Luke clarified.

“Luke, why would you go with me? Your family is here. Besides, where would you get the money?”

“Ash, my parents don’t want me here. They’re too focused on their careers to notice me anyway. They give me money just to get me to leave them alone. I have over a grand in my bank account right now, and I’m sure I could get plenty more within the week.”

Before I could respond, the doorbell rang. The pizza guy was here with our food.

Once Luke had paid the man and we brought our food back upstairs, he turned to me once more.

“You don’t have to agree right now. Take a night and think about it. And then give me until the end of the week to get more money. Then we can take off in the middle of the night without telling anybody.”

It was tempting. I wanted to say yes. I needed to say yes. The twins needed out of that house. I needed out of that house. So, without any further thought, I blurted out, “Okay, Luke. Let’s do it. We’ll leave on Sunday.”

I was escaping on Sunday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Things will be picking up soon.


	11. Chapter 11

Luke and I talked animatedly about our plans for Sunday as we ate our pizza and I could feel myself growing more and more excited. Sure, I was nervous because I didn’t know Luke all that well, but I trusted him. I had to. He was probably my only shot at getting out of the house with Lauren and Harry any time soon, and I needed to do it.

We were going to meet up Sunday morning. We would go to the store, buy everything we would need for the trip, then go. I would use my money for necessities (new car seats for the twins, food, and clothes) and Luke would get his money out of savings and come up with another $1,500 for the first month’s rent on an apartment. We were really going to do this.

Sadly though, Luke had to drive me to work. I would get one more paycheck before we left, which would bring my savings to around $800. I was dreading work the entire drive there, and Luke could sense my anxiety. He rested his hand on my inner thigh the entire drive and spoke with a smile about how happy we would be when we left. Surprisingly enough, he helped a lot. My breathing had calmed significantly by the time we arrived. 

“I’ll pick you up after your shift,” Luke told me and I smiled sheepishly.

“Thank you. I get off at nine.” I put my hand on the door handle and start to turn it.

“Wait, Ashton, one more thing,” Luke stops me and puts his arm on my shoulder to turn me around.

“Yea-“ Luke cut me off by pressing his lips softly to mine. I didn’t have a chance to kiss back. He pulled back too quickly.

“Luke?” I breathed. Luke glanced at me, his cheeks flushed.

“Yeah?”

I smiled and opened the car door.

“We’re finishing that kiss later.”


	12. Chapter 12

I couldn’t keep my mind off of the kiss while I was at work. My mind couldn’t help but to flash back to the soft feeling of his lips on mine and I couldn’t wait until he picked me up after my shift. I found myself counting down the hours to go.

Five hours left.

Four hours left.

Three hours left.

Two hours left.

One hour left.

Until finally I was off work and waiting outside for Luke to arrive. My mind was racing when his car pulled up. What if he regretted the kiss? What if he changed his mind and didn’t want to run away with me anymore? I was nearly hyperventilating by the time he honked his horn at me and pointed towards the passenger seat.

“How was work, Ash?” my heart fluttered at just the sound of his voice.

“Long. Just wanted to be with you,” I mumbled, stealing glances at Luke.

“I know. Me too,” he turned his gaze to me before speaking again, “If you want, you can spend the night with me. My parents are out of town.”

I wanted to say yes. I had to say yes. I needed to be with Luke. I needed to see what our earlier kiss would lead to. But I had Lauren and Harry to worry about, so I needed to force myself to say no.

“Luke,” I sighed, “God, I want to. I’d give anything to be at your house instead of mine. But my siblings are at my house. I can’t just leave them overnight.” Luke thought for a moment before his face lit up.

“We’ll go by your house and get them, Ashton. Will your parents notice them gone? I don’t want to get you or them…hurt or anything…” He trailed off.

Would they notice? Rob was passed out the last time I saw him, and I didn’t even know where my mom was. I just assumed she was in her room.

“How long will your parents be out of town for?” I questioned, hoping it would be for at least the next two days because then it would be Sunday. Luke pulled out his phone and checked something.

“Until Saturday night. It’ll be late when they get home. You could stay until then, if you want to.”

I knew it was smarter to tell Luke no. I should just go home and suffer through until Sunday. But it was about the kids’ safety at this point. Maybe it would be safer to stay at home until we left town. But maybe it would be safer at Luke’s house.

“Well,” I bit my lip, “Let’s go by my house. If my parents are still passed out, I’ll grab Lauren and Harry and the stuff we need and we’ll go back to your house. But if they’re awake, I need to stay home.” Luke nodded and started his car, finally pulling out of the movie theater parking lot.

“Are you hungry?” Luke asked as we passed a clump of fast-food chains. I nodded, and Luke slowed at the next intersection to make a U-turn.

“We could get burgers from that diner again,” I suggested and Luke grinned. I lost my breath for the millionth time at how gorgeous Luke’s smile is. His metallic lip ring shined under the street lights shining into the car’s windows.

“You really liked that place?” he questions and I nod my head quickly.

“It was great,” I assured him. Luke maneuvers the car down a series of narrow one-way streets until he stops the car in the brightly-lit parking lot.

Over dinner, we keep the conversation light and avoid talking about Sunday. We were both worried about it; we could sense each other’s fear. But we didn’t talk about it. We wanted to have one last normal evening before shit went down. Since it was Friday, we would have to start buying stuff we would need tomorrow, after I cashed my paycheck of course. I’d gotten it at work tonight. It was a whopping $218.34, which was right about what I thought it would be.

Luke stole the last fry off of my plate before grabbing the check and heading towards the counter to pay it as I pulled out my wallet to leave the tip.

I stood up and looped my arm through Luke’s when he arrived back at the table and blushed when he looked at me questioningly.

“Is this okay?” I ask nervously.

“Of course,” he assured me, smiling widely.

We got back in his car and drove to my house. When we pulled up, the lights were all off and I didn’t hear any noise. I looked at Luke hopefully.

“I’ll be right back,” I told him as I stepped out of the car. I trekked through the yard, stepping over trash littered about. I went in through the back door and creeped through the kitchen, making as little noise as possible.

After peering around the corner, I sighed in relief. Rob was passed out across the table this time, a bottle of liquor in his hand. Typical. I speed-walked to the twins’ bedroom and quickly packed a bag for them, propped the babies on either side of my hip, and made my way out the back door again. I could see Luke’s face breaking into a small smile when he saw Lauren and Harry.

“We don’t have a car seat,” I told him when he rolled the window down, “I’ll just have to hold onto them tightly until we can get one tomorrow.” Luke nodded and unlocked the doors. I got into the car and positioned my siblings securely on my lap before securing my seatbelt.

“Introduce us,” Luke said, putting his arm around me.

“Well,” I smiled, “This little beauty is Lauren, and this handsome fella is Harry.” Luke made baby talk as he started up the car. The twins soon fell asleep on the ride, which I was grateful for. I didn’t want them to be scared in the car, and I was relieved that they were sleeping peacefully.

The rest of the car ride was spent with Luke glancing over at us occasionally, all the while humming softly. I knew that Luke and I haven’t known each other for very long, but I couldn’t help but hope that this happiness I felt in this moment was the same happiness I felt for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought that this chapter was super cute :)
> 
> Shit goes down in the next chapter, prepare yourselves.


	13. Chapter 13

I was thankful that the twins were still sleeping when we arrived at Luke's house, and hopefully they would remain sleeping throughout the night. Though they were still babies, they already slept through the night without crying now. They were used to not getting the comfort they needed, which broke my heart to think about.

“You ready to take them inside?” Luke asked as he turned his car off once we were parked in the garage. 

“Yeah, but I don't think I can reach their diaper bag in the back. Can you grab it for me?” Luke grins and nods before reaching into the backseat and grabbing the diaper back I'd thrown in there when we got in the car.

Once we were inside, Luke found an air mattress in the guest bedroom closet and he asked me to help him blow it up so that the twins would have a place to sleep. It was fairly easy; it had an automatic pump that filled it. 

We barricaded the edges of the mattress in pillows so that Lauren and Harry could not roll off in the middle of the night, and then we started a movie and dimmed the lights. It was obvious that Luke and I were both exhausted, and we were ready for bed.

“Thank you, Luke,” I whispered, “for everything.”

Luke didn't answer. Instead, he softly touched his lips to mine and ran his fingers through my hair. Luke began to pull away, but this time, I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards me while mumbling, “I told you we would finish this later” against his mouth. Luke quickly turns his head to ensure that the twins were still sleeping peacefully before turning back to me and smashing our lips together.

Our mouths moved in sync like they were made for each other. Luke suddenly bit my bottom lip, causing me to gasp. He took advantage of my parted lips and slipped his tongue into my mouth, softly at first, but gaining confidence. 

“Ashton,” Luke panted, “Ash, we should stop. The twins, they could wake up any second.” I nodded my head before giving Luke one last peck on the lips.

“You're right. I know. Maybe we should get some sleep.”

Just as we snuggled together and got comfortable, a thought hit me. Luke and I had school tomorrow. But we had the twins with us. What the hell were we going to do?

“Luke,” I sat up, “what about school tomorrow? We can't ditch again.” Luke looks confused.

“Why can't we? We ditched today,” he points out.

“They'll call your parents,” I explain and Luke shakes his head.

“They don't have the right number for my parents. They always give my schools the wrong number so they won't be bothered. Don't worry, babe. Everything will be okay, get some sleep now.”

 

Before long, I was drifting off feeling comforted by the feeling of Luke snuggled into me. I could hear Lauren and Harry breathing heavily in their sleep and in this moment, I felt invincible. Everything was right where I wanted it to be. I never wanted this moment to end.

\- - - - - - - - - 

I was lulled out of my peaceful slumber by the sound of soft singing. It took me just a few seconds to remember where I was and who I was with. That was when I realized who was singing.

One of the twins' must've woken up, and Luke was singing them back to sleep. I didn't want to open my eyes yet in fear that I would embarrass Luke. 

He only sang for a few seconds longer before whispering, “I know you're awake over there, Sleeping Beauty. Open those gorgeous eyes now.” I blushed before opening my eyes to find Luke sitting at the foot of the bed, a sleeping Lauren in his arms. He was smiling at me while biting his lip ring.

“Good morning,” I rasped. Luke puckered his lips, signaling that he wanted a kiss. I happily obliged before standing up and stretching.

“Can you show me where your bathroom is?” I said quietly, not wanting to wake the twins.

“Through that door,” Luke said, pointing at the door on the wall opposite to us. He had an ensuite, something I had only dreamed of growing up.

In the bathroom, I splashed my face with cold water and took a piss before putting the plug in his tub and beginning to run water. The twins needed a bath desperately, and I didn't know when I would be able to give them one when we returned home.

Luke must've sensed what I was doing, because just a second later, he was entering the bathroom with my siblings in his arms.

“Sorry, guys,” Luke said in a soft voice, “I don't have any bath toys.”

“That's okay, they're not used to having anyway,” I tell him and a sad look settles on both of our faces.

Before long, we had both of the twins' bathed and we'd all gotten dressed and we now found ourselves in the car, Lauren and Harry seated onto my lap. Thankfully, Target was only a block away so it was only a short distance until we could get their car seats.

\- - - - - - - – - 

 

Two hours later, Lauren and Harry were being buckled into their new car seats in the back of Luke's car and we were about to go to my house so I could start packing some stuff up. It was now Friday, so I would be staying the night with Luke again tonight, and then we'd all get a hotel room together tomorrow night since Luke's parents would be home. We still planned on leaving Sunday night.

“Do you want me to go in with you?” Luke asked as he pulled into my driveway. I shook my head.

“No, that's okay. I can handle this. Besides, I think it would be best if you'd wait out here with the twins. I'll be quick,” I tell him and he nods in agreement. 

“That's a good idea, Ash. Don't rush, you don't want want to forget anything you may need.”

After a tight hug and a quick kiss, I was sneaking around the back of the house and creeping in the back door. Rob was still passed out at the table, so I quickly slid down the hallway and into my room. I grabbed an old backpack from my closet and dumped out its contents before stuffing it full of my clothes. When my clothes were packed (they all fit in the backpack because I only had four shirts and three pairs of pants to pack), I stuffed the envelope full of my savings in. I'd gotten my check cashed this morning, so that gave me $800, combined with Luke's almost $3,000. We were doing better than I'd planned.

As far as the twins' go, we could replace all of their stuff. The only things I packed were their clothes and what diapers they had. I was almost done packing, except for one thing.

That one thing was in my mom and Rob's bedroom. 

It was a letter my dad had written to give to me when I turned 13. I knew about it. I'd gotten it on my thirteenth birthday, but when Rob came along, he'd confiscated it. I needed to have that letter. It was one of the only things I still had of my dad's.

Rob was downstairs passed out, and I hadn't seen my mom in a few days. She probably wasn't home, most likely on a bender and sleeping on a stranger's couch. Or in jail. That's happened a few times. Either way, the coast seemed clear so I left my bags sitting in the hallway and slowly turned the doorknob to their bedroom.

I could hear someone stirring down the hallway, so I closed the door as quietly as I could and began making my way to the closet. I knew it was kept in a shoe box on the top shelf. That's where all of my dad's old stuff was kept. On second thought, I'd just take the whole box. Nobody here needed anything from it, anyway. 

I needed to hurry because I knew Rob was waking up, so I quickly slid the box off of the shelf. Unfortunately, I didn't have a good enough grip on the box, so it fell to the floor and all of its contents spilled out.

“Fuck.” I silently cursed. I considered just leaving the box and booking it, but I knew I'd regret it if I did. So I bent down and began scooping the contents up. The closet was dark so I couldn't see very well, I was just hoping the stuff I was collecting were the right things.

I reached my hand further back into the dark closet, grabbed the first thing I felt, and immediately dropped what was in my hand. I audibly gasped and stifled a scream. It was a hand. I'd grabbed a hand. 

I quickly stood up and flipped on the light and immediately began to cry at what I saw. My mother's cold, pale body was folded like a ragdoll on the floor. There was a needle next to her, telling me the cause of her death. 

I knew it was her that injected the drugs into her body, but I knew it was all Rob's fault. He did this to her. He was the reason I had to leave and the reason my mom was dead. He ruined my life. And I needed to get revenge before I left. So I collected myself, stopped the tears, and picked up the box of my dad's things, the stuff left on the floor that I hadn't gotten to yet long since forgotten. I didn't hear anymore movement from down the hall, so I slowly opened the door and peeked out. All clear.

I dashed down the hall and into the bathroom, where I grabbed a pill bottle full of Xanax's from the medicine cabinet. No, these weren't prescribed. They were just pills my mom and Rob had bought and stocked up on so that they wouldn't run out. Next, I pulled out a razor blade from my old hiding spot, poured all of the pills (about 10) onto the counter, and began crushing them with the blade. When it was a fine powder, I scooped it back into the pill bottle and exited the bathroom. 

Now I had to find the cup that Rob was surely drinking out of. As I was making my way to the kitchen, I heard footsteps coming towards me. I panicked and jumped into my bedroom (I was thankful the carpet was still plush and didn't make a noise) and closed the door as quietly as I could. I hoped he wouldn't notice my bags in the hallway, but he was most likely too fucked up on drugs to notice.

When I heard the bathroom door close, I left my bedroom and collected my bags before tip-toeing down the hall. I checked the kitchen for a whiskey glass of alcohol, and when I found one, I pulled the pill bottle from my pocket and dumped the contents into the glass. 

This would take care of Rob.

I was done now. I grabbed my bags, walked out the back door, and hid in the bushes until I saw Rob enter the kitchen, grab the whiskey glass, and down the rest of the drink. 

I could leave now.

Luke's face broke into a grin when he saw me coming, and I couldn't help but smile back. Sure, I was in mourning over what happened to my mom, but I knew it was coming. When somebody is addicted to drugs that badly, it's only a matter of time until you find them overdosed. That's why I didn't feel guilty over what I did to Rob. I simply sped up the process for him.

“Were they still passed out in there?” Luke asked when I was seated in the passenger seat.

“I don't think either of them are waking up any time soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. that happened. 
> 
> Did anybody see that one coming?


	14. Chapter 14

It was only a matter of time before Rob was discovered. I wanted us to be long gone by then, so I needed to come up with a good reason as to why we should leave tonight instead of Sunday. I didn't think it would be too hard to convince Luke, but I still couldn't tell him about what I did. 

“Hey, Luke?” I mumbled when we were back at his house. Luke was now busy packing his own stuff.

“Yeah, babe?” my heart fluttered at the pet name and for a second I forgot what I was about to say.

“I was just thinking...” I began, “What's keeping us here until Sunday? We both have our stuff together, we have the twins, we bought the stuff we need. Let's just take off tonight. It's better to leave now, before your parents get home anyway. What if they file a missing person's report on you?”

“Ashton, I don't think my parents are going to give us any trouble. Besides, I'm eighteen. There's nothing they can do,” he turned and looked at me, taking in my still-unsettled expression before speaking again, “But if you really want to, we can leave in the morning. We should at least spend one more night here.”

I nod my head and thank him before connecting our lips. The twins were taking a nap on the air mattress in the floor and Luke and I were folding the clothes he wanted to take on his bed. The kiss started out slow and gentle at first, but before long, it turned rough and passionate.

“Ashton,” Luke pants, “We should stop. If we're leaving in the morning then I need to pack.” I groan but agree, knowing he's right. 

“Fine,” I pout, “I'm going to take a shower, if that's okay.”

“Sure, Ashy. Towels are under the sink,” he says without looking up from the pile of clothes he was holding.

“Can I, uh, do you have any clothes I could wear? I left my bag in the car..” I trail off, a light blush tinting my cheeks. I didn't know why I was embarrassed around Luke; after all, we were about to be living together and raising two babies together. This thought left my head spinning. I'd only known Luke for a little more than a week; what was I doing?! How could I be positive I could trust him? None of this would be possible without him. I wouldn't have the money for any of this without him. The twins and I needed Luke, and considering what I just did to Rob, we needed to leave. I had to trust Luke.

“Babe?” before I knew it, Luke was standing in front of me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Oh,” I jumped back out of surprise, “Sorry, Luke. I was just...daydreaming.”

Luke raised an eyebrow, silently asking me what I was thinking about. I pretended I didn't see the questioning look and he didn't press it any further. Instead, he handed me a pair of boxers and a plain black tee shirt.

“We'll be going to bed soon,” he explains, “i figured you didn't need pants.”

I thank Luke and head for the bathroom. It had been a few days since I'd showered so I knew I needed one. I turned the handle and got the water steaming before stepping in. I didn't want to spend a lot of time in here; the twins could wake up at any moment and I wanted to be there when they did. Though they seemed to like Luke, I didn't want them to think I'd left.

Less than ten minutes later, I was turning the water off and wrapping a towel around my torso. I shook the water from my hair before slipping on the shirt and boxers. They were both a bit snug, but they would work. The clothes smelled like Luke, and I liked that. Whether or not I would admit it out loud, I was beginning to have serious feelings for the blonde-headed boy, which was making me nervous.

I knew we needed to have one of those 'what-are-we' conversations, and before we left would probably be a good time to have it. Hopefully the twins were still sleeping so that we could discuss this. I could only hope Luke felt the same way.

“Luke?” I called as I exited the bathroom.

“You're done already? That was quick,” he comments as he rises from the bed and makes his way towards me. “My clothes look good on you. A bit snug, but that just means it shows your body off better.” A blush rises to my cheeks and I make a noise that sounds like a laugh mixed with a squeak. 

“Can we talk?” I ask, avoiding eye contact. I was nervous about how this conversation would go, but we needed to have it.

“Sure, Ash. About what?”

“I just-” I steal a glance at Luke and he guides me to the bed where we both sit down before I continue, “i just want to talk about us before we make this huge step.”

“Us?” Luke questions and I nod. “What about us?”

“This is a huge decision, Luke. I mean, we barely know each other and we're about to run away and take care of two children together. I just don't want our expectations to be different, you know?” I steal a glance at Luke and he's nodding along to what I'm saying, telling me he understands. Luke appears to be thinking heavily before he answers me.

“I think we're both in a situation where we need to depend on each other.” Luke speaks slowly like he's choosing his words very carefully, “We're both out of our comfort zones here. You don't know if you can trust me, I don't know if I can trust you. But here's the thing-” Luke pauses to brush my hair out of my eyes, “i want to trust you. And I hope you want to trust me, too. I don't know how us raising Lauren and Harry together is going to go, but I promise you I'll give it my all if you can give me the same promise.”

Luke's words comforted me for a moment, but he didn't mention our relationship at all. Did we even have a relationship? He called me pet names and we liked to make out, but that doesn't necessarily mean a relationship. I felt my stomach turn. Maybe he didn't want a relationship. He just needed a way to get out of his house, and I was that way. 

Before I could answer Luke, my stomach grumbled loudly. It had been a while since we'd eaten and I was starting to get hungry. Luke looked at me while a grin formed on his face.

“Someone sounds hungry,” he teased, “Do you want me to order pizza?” 

I nod before interjecting with, “As long as I can pay this time.”

“Ashton, we're going to be living together soon. It doesn't matter who pays; it's all our money now. So you won't pay, I won't pay, we'll pay with our money.” Luke grips my chin gently between his thumb and forefinger and brings his lips to mine. All of my worries about what Luke and I are had disappeared as soon as our lips connected. The familiar feeling of fireworks had ignited in my body, and even just seconds into the kiss I was putty in his hands. Luke's tongue swiped into my mouth and our tongues danced together. He tasted like spearmint. He must've been chewing gum.

Luke's hands found their way to my hair and I placed my hands on his torso before gentling pushing him backwards. I crawled on top of him, all while keeping our lips connected, and found myself subconsciously grinding my hips on his. Both of us were holding in moans, letting only the occasional ones slip, trying not to disturb Lauren and Harry.

“Fuck, Ashton,” Luke whispered into my mouth, “We shouldn't be doing this right now.”

I know he's right, but in the moment, neither of us cares. All I'm focused on is the way Luke's mouth feels on mine and the way he's moving under me. All I'm wearing on my lower half is thin boxers, so grinding on Luke feels painfully good. Luke begins to unbutton his pants, and just as they're slid to his ankles and we're both finally getting more contact (even if we both still were in boxers), we hear a faint whimpering. Harry was starting to wake up.

“Fucking cockblock,” I mutter as I climb off of Luke. He swats at my arm before picking up my baby brother.

“You go order the pizza, babe. I want to take care of the baby.” My heart swells at Luke's words. It means so much to me that he enjoys spending time with Lauren and Harry.

“We're finishing that after the kids go to bed,” I say with a wink before grabbing my cellphone and exiting Luke's bedroom to order the pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're leaving in the next chapter, which will hopefully be up tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

Harry had only woken up because of hunger, and by the time Luke and I had finished eating our pizza, he was back asleep. Luke and I were both still turned on and anxiously looking forward to bedtime, but we were both uncomfortable doing anything in front of the twins.

“They can stay in the guest bedroom,” Luke suggested, “There's a bed in there, we can block the edges with plenty of pillows.” I nod, and I pick Harry up as Luke carries Lauren, all while cooing over how adorable she is. Thankfully the guest room is right next to Luke's bedroom, so if either of them start crying we'd be able to hear it.

We stay in the guest room with Lauren and Harry until they're done stirring from the walk in here. They don't seem to be waking up, so I place my arm around Luke and guide him back to his bedroom. With every step we took towards his bed, anticipation grew. Questions raced through my head. How far would we go tonight? Would I be enough for him? Is he expecting my body to look different?

“Hey, are you okay?” Luke questions as we sit down onto his bed. He brings his hand to my cheek, lightly stroking my jawline. 

I nod my head and Luke bites his lip ring before leaning forward. He grasps me by the back of my head and gently pulls me towards him. Our lips are centimeters apart and I can feel his hot breath in my face. His features are etched with lust and desire and I'm sure mine are, too. Luke is irresistible; his pink, plump lips are wet and parted, waiting on me to make the move. I happily oblige, closing the gap between us. I can taste the remnants of our dinner on his tongue, which wasn't ideal, but since it was Luke and his hands were once again pulling his jeans down and I could see the bulge growing in his boxers, I found myself not caring about the remains of pizza in his mouth.

“Ash-” Luke pants out, “your shirt-” I take his hint and grasp the bottom of my shirt before yanking it off. Luke does the same with his and before long, we're both left in nothing but our underwear. I take a moment to admire his body, from his perfect face, his toned chest, the still-growing bulge in his underwear, his long legs. Before I know it, I'm crashing our lips together again and my hand is finding its way to Luke's crotch.

“This is okay, isn't it?” I whisper, my hand hovering just above the thin material. Luke nods his head quickly.

“Yes,” he chokes out, “Please, yes.” 

I connect our lips again as I palm him over his boxers and I can feel Luke suck in a breath. 

Soon, we're both snuggling in bed, Luke completely naked and me still in my borrowed boxers, drifting off to sleep, hoping for dreams of the private moment we both shared.

 

\- - - - - - - -

Just six short hours later, the alarm we set is going off on Luke's phone and we begin to wake up, both anxious of today's events. It was only five a.m., and we planned on leaving by six-thirty at the latest. We needed to load the cars with our stuff, make a list of the rest of the stuff we'd need to buy (mostly stuff for Lauren and Harry), and we needed to get an idea of where we wanted to go. We knew it would be somewhere south of here, with not a lot of people. Luke worried about my parents calling the cops, but I knew that it wouldn't happen. It couldn't happen. 

I worried about the day when Rob and my mom were discovered. The cops would begin searching for me and I wanted to be as far away from here as possible when it happened. 

We'd already packed the car and Luke and I had both showered, and it was only five-forty. We had almost an hour until we planned on leaving, so we pulled out Luke's laptop and began searching for apartments in southern states. 

“Look at this one,” Luke shoves his laptop towards me, “only six-hundred a month, and it's a two bedroom. Deposit is only $300 down, utilities included in the rent. It's perfect.”

I flip through the pictures, and I find myself smiling wider and wider. It was perfect. Spacious floor plans, beautiful mountain views, and don't get me started on the décor. It appeared to come already furnished, and everything was very modern. Bright, white walls were accented by gray trim and instead of carpeted flooring, it was stained concrete. Sure, it would be cold on our feet, but that's what area rugs are for. The kitchen was just as gorgeous; stainless-steel appliances, and then my favorite part; the countertops were a beautiful marble design. I hadn't even had an official tour of the apartment yet and I was already in love. I was thankful it came pre-furnished, because otherwise we probably wouldn't have been able to afford furniture until we got jobs.

“Where is it?” I question, not taking my eyes off of the pictures.

“It's in Georgia.”

That explained the gorgeous mountains. Georgia had always been one of my favorite states, and I was undeniably excited about the idea of living there.

“We're moving to Georgia?” I smile at Luke, and he nods.

“We're moving to Georgia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a great update, but there was almost some smut. Wasn't sure if you guys wanted smut yet, so I ended it there. They haven't quite left yet in this chapter, but they will in the next chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

Not long after our conversation about the apartment, we were in the car with a giggly Lauren and Harry. They'd been sleeping a lot in the past few days, which sadly, was normal for them. My mom and Rob had never paid much attention to them, so they were left by themselves a lot. They adapted to that by sleeping a lot.

“You think I should call about the apartment?” Luke questioned, taking his eyes off the road for only a second to glance at me. I nod my head.

“Probably. Just to make sure they have an apartment available immediately. We can be in Georgia by tomorrow afternoon.” Georgia was about twelve hours away from here, and it was only nine in the morning. We planned on driving until seven and then stopping at a hotel for the night.

“Maybe we should get our story straight first,” he suggests, stealing one more glance at me. 

I raise my eyebrows questioningly before asking, “What story?”

“What are we going to tell them? They're going to want to know why an eighteen year old and a seventeen year old are taking care of two babies,” he points out.

“You have a point. Have you thought about what to say?”

“A bit,” Luke admits, “I think I know what we should go with.”

Luke's story was definitely odd, and it was only believable if he was a great actor. Luke's grand scheme was to say that I was his fiance (we'd stop somewhere and buy a cheap ring if need be) and Lauren and Harry were his children from his previous relationship. Since I was only seventeen and Luke was eighteen (almost nineteen), it just seemed to make more sense that they would be his children instead of mine. His relationship had ended badly and the mother wanted nothing to do with him or their children. So he was left as a single teenage father to care for his babies, until I came along. We had been together for only four months, but we both knew we wanted to be together forever and we were raising his children like they were both of ours. We couldn't produce birth certificates for the babies because we'd lost them in the move and were waiting on new copies in the mail.

“Wow,” I breathed once Luke had finished selling his story, “That might actually work.”

Luke was on the phone with the manager from the apartment building and I could only hear one side of the conversation, and it seemed to be going well.

“Hi, Mr. Burns. My name is Luke Hemmings, I'm calling about your apartment listing online.” Luke's voice was strong and confident, a tone I'd never heard him use before.

“I would need the two bedroom. I'm traveling from out of town with my fiance and two babies.” even though Luke and I weren't even officially dating, I won't deny that my heart raced a bit by being referred to as his fiance and Lauren and Harry being called our children.

“When would it be available to move in to?” I crossed my fingers and pleaded that the man would say immediately. 

“Perfect. We can be at the office at two-thirty to view the apartment and potentially sign the papers.” I grin and place my hand on Luke's thigh. He smiles at me before returning his focus to the road and the phone call.

“Thank you for all of your help, Mr. Burns. My family and I will see you tomorrow.”

Luke sighs happily as he hangs up and drops his phone back in the center console of the car. He places one hand over mine. Though he doesn't say anything, I can tell he is as happy as I am. I glance to the backseat to find that Harry is sleeping, and once I make eye contact with her, Lauren babbles happily.

“Hi, beautiful,” I coo at her and she giggles. I reach my free hand back to her and begin to tickle her and the car fills with her happy shrieks.

“I could listen to that sound all day,” Luke tells me as he steals glances at her from the rear-view mirror.

“Get used to it. She is your new daughter, after all,” I tease him and his smile grows larger.

“I like the sound of that,” he says before turning the radio up. My heart swells upon hearing his words.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Hours later, we are pulling into the parking lot of a rundown hotel. We could afford nicer, but we need to be saving our money. Luke tells me to wait out here with the twins while he rents a room, so I follow his instructions. The babies are awake and beginning to get hungry, so I hope Luke hurries. Their bottles are dirty from the ones I made them earlier, and I had no way to wash them in the car.

'Come on, Luke,' I say, knowing he can't hear me. 

As if on cue, Luke walks back out to the car, a plastic room key in his hand. He gives me a quick kiss before putting the car back in gear and pulling to the back of our hotel, where our room was located. I wondered idly if the room would have two beds or one as I grasped Lauren's carrier and Luke grabbed Harry's. We looked like a full-blown family, with each of us carrying a child, a diaper bag, and a suitcase all while still managing to hold hands. I hoped this touchey-feely phase of our relationship (if it even was a relationship) never ended.

Once inside, we fed Lauren and Harry, gave them a bath, and then I headed for the shower. I once again borrowed clothes from Luke, because his suitcase was the only one we brought inside. In the shower, I allowed my mind to wander. As I washed my hair, I thought about what living with Luke was going to be like. We'd need to find jobs immediately, that was the first thing. We would also need to find a cheap daycare so that the twins could go there while we were at work. We had enough money to last us around a month (at the most), which meant we needed jobs right away.

I idly ran a bar of soap over my body as I thought about our not-so-near future. Would we ever get married? Have children of our own? Buy our own house? Would we stay in Georgia forever, or would he someday want to return to visit his parents? I knew that this was all stuff I didn't need to think about right now, because we had enough to stress over. But I couldn't help myself. In the few short weeks Luke and I have known each other, he's managed to get me through the immense feeling of despair and hopelessness that I was feeling daily, and for that I was grateful.

After Luke and I had both showered, the twins were sleeping peacefully, and Luke and I had ordered Chinese delivery for dinner, we were snuggled up together in the uncomfortable bed, watching reality TV. I knew that things were going to start getting stressful and complicated tomorrow, but with Luke and the twins by my side, I was more than happy to face it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think things with Mr. Burns is going to go tomorrow? Will they get the apartment? 
> 
> When do you think Luke will find out what Ashton did to Rob?


	17. Chapter 17

We woke up early the next morning, still tired from yesterday's events. Lauren and Harry had a rough night, and woke up every couple of hours. Eventually, we just kept them in bed with us, and that seemed to calm them down so that they could get some sleep. We were all yawning and rubbing our eyes, and I can't speak for Luke, but I was thinking about everything that had happened yesterday while I was taking my shower. We'd gotten everything arranged for our apartment, we'd driven over ten hours (we still had about two to go), and I may or may not have jacked Luke off under the blankets at bedtime (before the twins were in the same bed as us, of course).

It had been a great day yesterday, and I could only hope today would go half as well. It was about 9AM, which gave us an hour until we had to leave. That would mean we'd get to town around noon, giving us plenty of time to get lunch and meet the manager at the apartments. I was a little (okay, I was very) worried about how meeting the manager was going to go. What if he didn't believe the story Luke had come up with? What if they'd already discovered Rob and my mom's body back at home and were looking for us? My face would be plastered all over the news and people would recognize us. Hopefully we were so far away that nobody here would hear about it.

I was still in the shower (fuck, how long had I been in here?) when I heard the door open and before long, Luke's head was popping through the shower curtain.

“You realize I still have to shower, right?” he questions as I scurry to cover my body with the curtain.

“Don't,” Luke rips the curtains away from my body, “Don't hide from me. You're perfect.” I blush at his words before I process his original question.

“I'm about to get out, sorry for taking so long,” I apologize and Luke glares.

“Don't apologize over dumb shit.”

“I'm so-” I stop myself before asking, “Are you okay? You seem...off.” Luke sighs and begins stripping down. 

“Scoot over,” he demands and I can't help but to admire his body as he steps under the cascade of water.

“What're you doing?” I question, about to exit the small space.

“Taking a shower. The babies are sleeping, and I needed a shower.”

I didn't know what Luke's problem was, but his short, choppy answers were making me nervous. He'd never been this way with me and I didn't know what to expect. Maybe if I just gave him some space he'd tell me why he was upset.

I get one leg out of the shower before he is stopping me.

“Where are you going?” he pouts, grasping onto my (nonexistent) bicep. I was taken aback by his sudden apparent mood change.

“I thought...you seemed mad at me, I was just going to let you have the shower.”

Luke runs his hand through his damp hair before saying, “No, Ashton, I'm sorry. I'm not angry, I guess I'm just a little stressed about today.” 

I nod my head in understanding. I was definitely stressed too. I didn't know how any of this was going to go, and it was hard to not be worried. Both of our lives had been suddenly changed, and it was going to take some getting used to.

“Follow your own rule, Luke. Don't apologize over dumb shit. We're both anxious over what's going to happen today,” I say before gently connecting our lips. Just as I was about to pull away, not expecting for it to turn into anything more, Luke pulls me towards him by my shoulders and smashes his mouth against mine. It caught me off guard, though I can't say I'm not pleasantly surprised. The feeling of his mouth on mine, his chest flush with mine, our lower regions inches from the other's. It wasn't long before I had a hard-on and I was almost panting into his mouth.

“Sorry to do this to you, babe, but we really need to hurry now,” Luke chuckles as he glances down at my...er...problem.

\- - - - - - - - - -

About three hours later, we were arriving in the town that we now called home. It was gorgeous. The mountains were breathtaking and all of the hilly land was more gorgeous in person than it was in the pictures.

“We're home, guys,” Luke smiled, “Lauren and Harry, this is home now.” I grinned giddily at the way he directed the statement towards the twins. I was worried about his inclusiveness with the babies at first and it made me feel much better knowing that he was happy to have them along.

“We still have about an hour and a half until we have to meet the landlord. Should we go get some lunch?” I question and Luke nods. 

“We just passed a diner,” he tells me, “we should go there. We need a new diner. It was kind of our thing.”

“Luke,” I laugh, “we only went to that other diner twice.” it was cute that he thinks that we have a thing, but it didn't seem like much of a tradition to me.

“Ashtonnnnnn it was starting to be our thinggggggg. Don't ruin this,” Luke whines. I chuckle and rest my hand on his thigh.

“Okay, okay,” I sigh in defeat, “We'll go to the new diner.”

\- - - - - - - -

The new diner was, dare I say it, better than the other one, and both Luke and I had our food gobbled up less than ten minutes. We still had a while before we had to go to our new apartment, but since we weren't familiar with the area, we decided to head on our way early to ensure that we weren't late.

“Hey, Ash,” Luke nudges me, “I think Harry just took a shit.” I glanced at my brother, who was making his infamous pooping face, so I sigh and nod to him.

“I'll take him to the bathroom and change him if you'll go ahead and take Lauren to the car and get her buckled in,” I tell Luke, who nods.

“I would offer to change the diaper for you, but I've never done that before,” he replies sheepishly, “you'll have to teach me how.”

I smile and assure Luke that I will teach him when we got moved into our place before picking up my baby brother (who was still in his car seat) and the diaper bag before heading into the small unisex bathroom.

As I was changing his diaper, I was thinking about Luke's statement. 

'You'll have to teach me how.'

No teenager wanted to be changing diapers, that was obvious. So it was heartwarming that Luke was willing to do it for me, for Lauren and Harry.

Harry began crying as I was changing him. He never has liked diaper changes. Lauren, on the other hand, didn't mind them. Lauren was more easygoing that Harry was. It was weird to think about children's personalities already being so different from one another. 

“Babababa.” Harry babbled away and I chuckled.

“Are you trying to say bubba?” I coo, “Bubba loves you, Har. And I'm sure Luke does, too. We're going to do everything we can to take care of you and sissy.” I know he couldn't understand me, but I could tell that my voice comforted him.

I snapped Harry's onesie closed and buckled him back in his car seat. When we joined Luke outside, he was talking to Lauren with a dopey grin on his face. He stopped talking when I opened the back door to buckle Harry in, but Lauren was sleeping peacefully and it melted my heart (for what felt like the tenth time today) that Luke was talking her to sleep.

“Ready to go?” he asked when I was finally seated in the front seat. It was barely two o'clock now and the GPS told us that the apartments were only fifteen minutes away. I nodded and placed my hand back on his thigh. We rode in a comfortable silence until Luke hit a speed bump and it slid my hand further into his thigh. 

I didn't realize how close my hand was to Luke's crotch until he rasped out, “Baby you better move your hand, let's not start something we can't finish.”

I blushed and quickly moved my hand while muttering an apology. 

“Here we are,” he said excitedly as we pulled into the parking lot. The outside of the apartments were large and modern, with huge balconies protruding. The entryway was buzzer and key entry, which meant it was safe. All of the cars in the lot were new and nice, and there was a small playground next to the community pool. There were no trashy dumpsters outside like at most apartments. This was a nice place and I could only pray that the man believed our story.

“Mr. Burns said to meet him outside of the main entrance, since we won't be able to get inside without a key,” Luke tells me before adding, “but we still have ten minutes so we should wait in here with the babies for now.”

We spend the next few minutes animatedly talking about our plans for the apartment, and how we'll decorate Lauren and Harry's nursery. Before long, a man in a suit is walking towards the main entrance and Luke and I glance at each other.

“Here goes nothing,” Luke sighs before opening his car door and jogging to where the man is standing. I didn't know if I should get the babies and go with him or if I should wait out here, so I sat in the car and chattered to the twins until Luke opened the car door.

“Grab Harry, he's going to take us upstairs to see the apartment before we sign the lease,” Luke tells me and I breathe a sigh of relief. We're getting the apartment, we have a place to live. 

I follow Luke's instructions and grab Harry's car seat as he gets Lauren's and we join Mr. Burns where he was still standing by the entryway.

“Hello,” the man sticks his hand out, “I'm Adam Burns.”

“I'm Ashton Hemmings,” I tell the man, “Luke's fiance.” Luke grins at me when he hears me use his last name.

“And these are...your children?” he questions, turning to Luke.

“Yes, sir. My ex wanted nothing to do with them, so I got custody,” he explains and the man nods, seemingly believing the lie.

“You two seem like perfect candidates for the apartment, but my only concern is your ages. Mr. Hemmings,” he turns to Luke, “You're only eighteen. That is a potential risk for renters. You understand, don't you?”

“I absolutely see why it would be a reason to worry. You can never be too careful when it comes to teenagers. But here's the thing, Mr. Burns, look at my children. They've already been through a lot, with their mother leaving and all. All I'm trying to do here is give my babies and my fiance a good life. Not a lot of places will rent to two eighteen year-old's and two babies. You're the only place we've called that has let us come this far. I'm just trying to do what's right for my family, you can understand that, can't you Mr. Burns?” By now we're standing outside of apartment number 105 and once Luke is done with his speech, my jaw is practically on the floor. He sounded so sincere that even I couldn't help but to believe him.

“Sure I can, Mr. Hemmings. I think you two would fit in just fine here at Pine Brooks. Let me just show you the apartment before anybody makes any decisions.”

The apartment was gorgeous. The layout was a different than any apartment I'd ever seen (the front door led into the kitchen and the living room was ahead and a pair of swinging doors was to the right. Through the swinging doors was the dining room, which came with a large four person table. Through the living room was a hallway that led to the two bedrooms and connecting bathroom. The apartment wasn't huge, but it was just enough for us. I imagined myself making dinner for the four of us as Luke came home from work in the evening, I imagined us having movie nights in the living room, I imagined us tucking Lauren and Harry in at night in their bedroom, and I couldn't help but think of the possibilities of the bedroom Luke and I would share. I could picture us living here, and from the look on Luke's face, he could too.

“What do you guys think?” Mr. Burns asked once our tour was finished, “Do you like it or should we look at another unit?”

Luke and I both glance at each other before he says, “Let's sign the papers, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lashton finally got their apartment! What do you guys think?


	18. Chapter 18

As soon as Mr. Burns was out the door, Luke and I both squealed in delight. Lauren and Harry had long since been taken out of their car seats, and they were seated on the floor giggling to each other. Lauren shrieked happily at Luke as he picked her up under her armpits and swung her around the living room. Harry waved his arms, and I picked him up and did the same. 

“Ash,” Luke pants after a long fifteen minutes of swinging the babies around the apartment, “We need to go to the store soon, it's already four.” I nod and walk down the short hallway to Lauren and Harry's bedroom, making a mental note of everything we would need to buy. All of the rooms were furnished, but the second bedroom (the twins' room) had only a full-sized bed and a dresser. They would need cribs. 

Other than that, we would need toiletries and groceries, along with some new clothes for the kids. 

“Okay,” I slip my shoes on, “Let's go.” Luke had already buckled the twins into their car seats, so we each grabbed one and buckled them into the car. Before we could go, we had to use my GPS to find the nearest grocery store and were relieved to find that it was only five minutes away. Since we had to get cribs, we decided to get our groceries last and instead found directions to a second-hand baby store that was about half an hour away. The drive was spent singing children's songs and exchanging happy glances. Everything was going perfectly. That is, until Luke's phone began to ring. He didn't bother glancing at the caller I.D. Before swiping his thumb across the screen.

“Hello?” he said absentmindedly as he turned down the volume of the radio. I couldn't hear the conversation, but I could see the expression on his face change drastically.

“Mom?” he said in a low tone. My heart began to race as I imagined what his mom was saying.

“No, mom. Don't worry, I'm fine.” Luke's voice evened out and it seemed to be a normal tone now. I tried to relax but I couldn't. I knew his mom would have no idea that I was with him, so there was no way that even if she did hear about it, she would have no reason to tell him about somebody finding Rob. 

“There's really nothing you can do,” he snaps, “I'm eighteen.” I can make out bits and pieces of what is being said on the other line, and I can piece together what she's saying. 'I can always track your phone.' 

“That's why I'll have to get a new one.” His mom's voice lowers again and I can't hear anything else that she says.

“Listen, mom,” Luke says in a softer voice, “I'm okay. I'm happy and I can take care of myself. You know that. Once I get settled in at my new place, I can come back and visit you, or you can come visit me. But until then, at least try to be happy for me.” his little speech must have worked, because less than thirty seconds later, Luke is chuckling and telling her he loves her before hanging up.

“Was she mad?” I asked quietly. Luke glanced at me out of the corner of his eye before sighing.

“She just wanted me to come back because I'm the one that takes care of the house. She said 'the house will feel so empty without you', but what she really meant was 'the house is going to be so messy without you'.” I could tell Luke was faking his frustration; you could hear the tenderness in his voice as he told his mom that he loved her. I decided not to call him out on it, though.

“It's a good thing you're here with me then.”

Before long, we arrived at the children's store and we were browsing around at their available cribs. We found a couple that we liked and they were very reasonably priced. Next we were looking around at clothes, picking up almost every item that would fit Lauren and Harry. They were dangerously low on clothes, and since these were used and ridiculously cheap, we wanted to buy all that we could.

Thankfully the store had delivery service available, because there was no way the cribs would fit in the trunk of Luke's car. We arranged for them to get delivered at noon the next day, which meant the babies would have to sleep in the same bed as us tonight, not that I minded.

Next we headed to the grocery store, where we bought enough food to fill our fridge and cabinets and also stocked up on diapers, wipes, and any toiletries we would need. I was relieved that we would get to go back home next. It was exciting living in a new place, and I wanted to be there right now, instead of shopping for shampoo.

We made it home right at dinner time, and whereas we were both too tired to cook, we also wanted to enjoy our new kitchen so we decided against ordering pizza. Once I had a pot of water on the stove waiting to boil, I wandered to the living room, where Luke was sitting with Lauren and Harry. I knew he didn't realize that I was standing there, because if he did, he would've stopped talking to them and turned around with a blush on his face.

“I know you've had a hard life up until now, but your brother and I are doing everything we can to make that stop. We may not be the most prepared or qualified to take care of you guys, but we'll do our best.” with that, Luke brushes Lauren's hair out of her face before allowing them to sleep. He turned around, noticed me standing there, and instead of blushing, he grinned cheekily. 

“I think they like me,” he said happily and I nodded.

“They love you, Luke.” Luke was about to respond but he snapped his head to the kitchen.

“That water is about to boil over,” he warns and I rush to the kitchen to finish our dinner. I spent the rest of the night thinking about how lucky I was to have Luke and the babies with me and how I would do anything for any of them. The three of them were my world now.


	19. Chapter 19

A month later, things were still going just as great. Luke and I had both found jobs, and luckily, mine was at a daycare so I could bring Lauren and Harry with me. They got to stay there while I worked for free, which saved us a lot of money. By now, our apartment was just the way we wanted it and it had all of the homely touches we wanted. We had plenty of money for all necessities and even most things we wanted.

I was currently at home making the twins some lunch (just a couple pieces of cut up fruit and some applesauce) and watching television as I did so. It was my day off work and I was enjoying it. In the short time we'd been here, both Lauren and Harry had learned to stand by themselves (and were both on their way to walking). It was something most normal one year old's could typically do, but since they'd been neglected by my parents, they were behind.

“Are you guys ready for your lunch?” I ask the twins, who nod their heads excitedly. They knew basic words (like yes, no, bub, and Luke), but they still didn't speak very often. We were working on that. The daycare I work at suggested speech therapy if they still hadn't improved by the time they were two (which was quickly approaching) and I was hoping we wouldn't need to do that.

Luke got off work at five-thirty today, which was still a good four hours away. As much as I loved living here with Luke, I still liked spending alone time with my siblings. 

As the twins were eating their fruit, I began to straighten up the apartment. Things got messy quicker than usual with two young children in the house, not that I was complaining. I didn't mind cleaning up after them, and it actually felt nice to be in control of my own house. After the disgusting conditions we lived in for so long, I have vowed to never let the twins live like that again, as long as I could control it.

I grabbed the laundry hamper full of clothes that still needed to be put away, two days after doing laundry, and flinch as something pricks my finger. I jump away in shock before pulling out the pair of jeans I hurt my finger on. I searched through the pockets until I found the source of my pain.

I let out a panicked gasp and immediately dropped what I picked out of the pockets.

A needle, the same type I found next to my mom's dead body, laid on the floor where I dropped it.

'Where the fuck did that come from?' I question, not being able to tear my eyes away from it. It sure as hell wasn't mine. 

Luke.

As much as I wanted to be able to deny it, who else would it belong to? Why would Luke have a needle? He couldn't be on drugs. I would've known about it before now. It's obvious when people are high; I grew up with it, so I know all of the warning signs.

What was I supposed to do about it? Did I bring it up to Luke? Did I wait to catch him in the act? I was still in shock, and I couldn't think straight. There had to be an explanation for this. I would have to wait until Luke got home from work to receive an explanation, and I couldn't help but to send him a text asking him to come home early. I didn't actually expect him to, of course, but I just wanted him to know I had something serious to talk to him about when he got home.

However, less than ten minutes later, I received a text back telling me that he was on his way. I didn't want the twins to be awake for our conversation, so I rocked them to sleep, tucked them into their cribs, and shut the door. Just as I was leaving their bedroom, I heard his key in the door. 

As soon as Luke stepped foot into the room, I lost it.

“When did you plan on telling me about your problem?” I demanded, dodging the kiss he was trying to plant on my cheek.

“Ash, what are you talking about?” Luke asked, clearly confused. 

“After all of the stuff the twins and I went through with my parents, and you knowing about that, you still brought drugs into our house? Did you think I wouldn't find out?” I try to keep my tone calm, but I'm starting to fail.

“Ashton, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. I'm not on drugs!” Luke whisper-yells, stepping closer to me.

“Then what the fuck is this?!” I fail to keep my tone calm as I drag him to the bedroom and point at the needle on the floor, still exactly where I dropped it in surprise less than an hour ago.

“Babe, I--” Luke starts, but I interrupt him.

“If you're going to do drugs and fuck up your own life then that's fine. But you are not going to bring this nasty shit around me or my siblings. We already had to put up with it from our parents, we're sure as hell not going to deal with it from you,” I spit and Luke steps forward and places his hands on both sides of my cheeks.

“Ashton that needle isn't mine! I'd never even seen one of those before today! I don't know where the fuck that came from but I can assure you that it wasn't mine! Do whatever you need to do to prove that to yourself.” his voice was surprisingly calm towards the end of his rant, and I found myself already wanting to believe him.

“Where would it have come from if it isn't yours?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Baby, I can prove it wasn't mine. I had to get drug-tested to even get my job, remember? My drug test came back clean. It was not mine.”

I nod my head and don't say anything while I sit down on our bed.

“Hey, Ash,” Luke says lowly, “Do you think your stepdad could figure out that we were here?”

“What are you implying, Luke?” I ask, avoiding his question.

“This could be a warning. He knows we're here and he's trying to get revenge.”

Luke sounds so serious, and maybe his suggestion could be true. 'if I hadn't killed Rob before we came here' my subconscious reminds me.

“I doubt that,” I force myself to chuckle, “They're a pair of my old pants, remember? I probably grabbed them straight from the dirty laundry at my old house, the needle was probably already in there from Rob and my mom.” 

Luke nods and I hope he changes the subject. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Now that I know it's not Luke's, I'm ready to forget the whole thing. I knew I would have to tell Luke about what I did to Rob someday, but today wasn't that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Luke right? Could it be Rob that planted the needle? Or is Ashton right?


	20. Chapter 20

Day after day, more weird stuff kept happening. I would find the front door unlocked after I knew I'd locked it, windows would be cracked open, and the final straw was walking outside one morning as I was leaving for work to find Luke's car door wide open. Somebody was messing with us, but I couldn't figure out why. They weren't stealing anything (at least not that we knew of) and they weren't damaging anything.

Luke was still accusing me of being paranoid, but once he saw the car door standing open after we'd shut and locked the door the night before, he was beginning to believe me. Neither of us knew what to say as we stood in the parking lot gaping at our car.

“See, Luke?!” I exclaimed, setting Harry's car seat on the ground, “Do you see what I'm talking about now?” Luke sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't answer me and instead went to inspect the car. After a few moments of looking for anything that might be missing, he groaned.

“What the hell was this about? There's at least a hundred dollars in the glove compartment. If they were thieves then they would've taken it,” Luke says, pulling out his phone. I assumed he was going to call the cops, but instead, he slipped it back in his pocket and climbed into the driver's seat.

I picked Harry's car seat off of the ground, then Lauren's, and joined him in the car after buckling the kids in. Luke was silent, I could tell he was pissed. I wanted him to calm down, not because I blamed him for being mad, but because his anger was causing him to become distant from me and I didn't like that.

“What're you thinking, Luke?” I asked him after a few minutes of driving in silence.

“I'm thinking,” he said in jagged breaths, “that we aren't going to work today. We're going to call in, buy some security cameras, and find out who the fuck has been in our house and car.” I held my breath to keep from shouting. Luke was handling this all wrong; all of the money we'd come here with was long since gone and it became apparent that we both needed to work and hold jobs in order to afford our apartment. We certainly couldn't afford to both miss a day, let alone afford to buy expensive security cameras.

“Baby,” I fought to keep my voice calm, “I get that you're upset about this, but you know we need to go to work. We need the money.” he shoots me a glare but doesn't speak. I knew he wasn't going to relent; we were headed in the opposite direction of both of our jobs. I glance in the backseat at the twins, who were still sleeping peacefully. Luke's face was set into an angry grimace and I didn't even want to try to talk to him anymore. I'd never seen Luke like this, and it honestly scared me. Normal people would call the cops and let them handle this, but Luke's reaction was a total surprise. 

We arrived at Best Buy a short time later, and Luke cut the engine. He didn't even look at me before grabbing Harry's car seat and walking inside. I sighed and got Lauren before trailing after him. I left some distance between us, not wanting to be near him right now. He was acting crazy, and deep down, I could tell that he knew he was, too. 

An hour and three hundred dollars later, we had three different cameras that we didn't need. Once we got home, Luke went to work setting the cameras up. I took the twins to their bedroom and spent time reading and playing with them just to avoid Luke. It was working until he barged into the room.

“The cameras are set up,” he says as if I cared.

“That's great, babe,” I said with a sigh. Luke glanced at me for a second, took in my annoyed appearance, and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Look, Ash, I'm sorry. I know you think I'm being overboard, I just don't want anything to happen to us. Things have been going so perfect and I just don't want to ruin that.” I hear the sincerity in his voice, and all along I've known deep down that he was only doing this because he cares about us, but I don't think that excuses his shitty behavior.

“I know,” I tell him and turn away. I'm still aggravated but arguing seemed pointless. We lost more than three hundred dollars in one day because Luke was “being overboard”, as he put it. 

“I don't even know what I was thinking,” he admits, “the cameras are pointless since we're home. This person has clearly been keeping a close eye on us. He probably already knows we put the cameras up.” I snort and turn to face him again. He has a small smile on his face and I can tell he's trying to think of a dumb joke to lighten the mood. I wasn't quite ready to forgive him yet so I pushed past him and mumbled that I was going to take a shower. 

Once inside the bathroom, I ignored the eerie feeling that I was being watched and locked the door so that Luke couldn't try to join me like I already knew he would. I was stressing about all of the money we lost today and I didn't need Luke making stupid puns while I was trying to think. We had rent coming up soon and we would be cutting it close. We'd have to cut our grocery budget down just to pay bills, but we could make it work.

I reached my hand into the shower without looking to turn the water on, like I always did. The eerie feeling still hadn't disappeared as I was undressing, and I was convinced that I felt eyes on me. I pushed the feeling back and began to step into the shower, closing my eyes to avoid getting water in them. It wasn't until I reopened my eyes that I found the source of uncomfortable feeling.

“Did you miss me, Ashton?”


	21. Chapter 21

I stumbled backwards, toppling out of the shower. Rob followed after me, grasping hold of my leg before I could unlock the door and throw it open. I was hoping Luke wasn't occupied with something else; he was oblivious to the world around him when he was focusing on something different.

Before I could cry out for help, Rob pulled me from the floor by my hair and slammed my head on the counter top. He let my limp body fall to the floor before whispering menacingly, “I knew you were up to something.”

“Ash? Everything okay in there?” Luke called from down the hall. I shrieked before Rob could cover my mouth, and only a few seconds later, Luke was trying to get the door open. 

While Luke was working on picking the lock, Rob was repeatedly kicking me in the ribs, while saying various things along the lines of, “I should've killed you just like I did your mom. You're worthless anyway. You're just like your mom in that way.” I covered my ears, trying to block out what he was saying. Since my mom had died, I'd stopped focusing on the bad things she'd done to resolve the anger I felt towards her. There was no point in being angry at her anymore.

“Ashton, who's in there?” Luke called. I could hear him working at the doorknob still, and I knew he'd be inside soon. The lock was beginning to twist.

“Call the cops,” I sputtered, blood oozing down my lips from the amount of times I'd been kicked in the face. Luke finally got the door unlocked and he swung it open, a sharp kitchen knife in his hand.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Luke demanded, stepping towards Rob. The knife was a mere centimeter away from my stepdad's chest before Luke stopped walking. My boyfriend turned to me and told me to leave, and that he'd take care of it. I wanted to stay and help fight, but with the amount of hits and kicks Rob had already gotten in, I wasn't going to be able to do anything, plus the twins needed someone to sit with them.

I could only crawl away, and as I was scooting myself across the floor, I told Luke repeatedly to be careful. Rob didn't seem to have a weapon on him, but he was dangerous and didn't need one. 

“Ashton,” Luke called once I was in the safety of the twins' bedroom, “Call the police, please.” It amazed me how calm Luke was through this, but it helped me to keep my sanity.

“I don't think you'll want to do that. I'd be forced to tell them about what happened the day you moved out,” Rob threatens, and Luke asks him what the fuck he was talking about. 

“Tell him, Ashton! Tell him!” Rob laughs as he says this.

“I'd be quiet now if I was you,” Luke advises, “I'm not afraid to plunge this into your chest. So no more talking.” I cringe, imagining what Rob is going to do to Luke because he said that. Luke quietly calls for me to call the police one more time. I hobble towards Luke's cell phone and dial 911 before hesitantly retreating to the bathroom. Rob is sitting on the back of the toilet seat with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face and Luke has the knife held to his neck.

“The cops will be here soon,” I tell Luke and he nods. I could tell he was still wondering what Rob meant, but he didn't want to ask me about it in front of him, and I appreciated that.

“Ashton,” Rob growls, “I think you should tell your boyfriend here to let me go.” Luke presses the knife closer to his neck before I touch his shoulder. Luke backs off a little so that he can continue talking.

“I don't want both of us to be arrested, and I know you know what I'm talking about,” he winks at me. My mind is racing but I know Rob is right. I can't go to jail, so, as much as it killed me to do so, I gave in.

“Luke, let him go. He'll leave and won't come back. Right, Rob?” Luke looks at me incredulously.

“Not soon, anyway. I don't enjoy being held at knifepoint.”

“I'm not letting him go,” Luke turns to me, “What is wrong with you? Why would you get arrested? He's the one-” 

“Babe,” I cut him off, “As soon as he leaves, I'll explain everything. I promise. But you need to let him go before the cops get here.” Luke thinks about it for a moment and finally relents.

“If you ever show up here again, I won't hesitate to slit your throat this time. Stay away from my family. I mean it.” With that, Luke grabs Rob by the shoulder and guides him to the front door with the knife still held to his neck. Luke opened the front door, pushed Rob out, and slammed the door in his face.

“I'm not going to ask any questions right now because you need bandaged up, but after that, you're explaining everything,” he tells me. I was terrified about how he'd react to everything and I was sure he would leave me. I'd be on my own raising Lauren and Harry. We'd be homeless; we couldn't afford this place with just my income.

The cops arrived before Luke finished cleaning my wounds, and we spent the next half hour explaining to the cops what happened (except instead of telling them that we let him go, we told the police officers that he had ran off). They promised to patrol the area and call if they found anybody, and as soon as they were out the door, Luke pointed to the couch.

“Talk. Now.”


	22. Chapter 22

“Okay,” I mumbled, “okay, I'll tell you everything. But at least promise me you'll listen to the whole story before getting angry. You have to understand where I was coming from.” 

Luke pulled up a chair from the kitchen table and sat across from me, his hands folded in his lap.

“You know about my mom and Rob's drug problem. I already told you about that,” I wait for Luke to nod before I continue, “when I went to pack my things, I had to get something from their bedroom. It was a box of things that belonged to my dad that Rob had hidden so I couldn't have it. 

“The box was on a shelf in their closet. The closet was dark and I couldn't see much. I heard Rob moving in the other room, so I had to hurry. Well, I dropped the box and everything spilled onto the floor. While I was picking up the things I'd dropped, I found something horrible.

“My mom was dead on the floor. She'd overdosed on heroin; there was a used needle on the floor next to her. I was freaked out, I was scared, and, worst of all, I was angry. Not angry at my mom,” I clarified, “but at my stepdad. He was the one that got her addicted to the stuff; if it wasn't for him, she would still be a great mother, she'd be alive. She'd be there for me and the twins. Rob took that away from me – from my siblings. 

“Since I was so shaken up from just having found my mom like that, I wasn't thinking clearly. Trust me, Luke, if I had been thinking clearly I wouldn't have done anything to him. I swear – “

“Ashton, what did you do?” Luke cuts me off.

“Okay,” I sigh, “I'm getting there. I remembered a bottle of xanax Rob kept in the bathroom for days that he didn't have any other drugs to do. I wanted to get revenge on him for doing this to my family. All I felt in that moment was pure hatred for him. I'd already lost my dad and he had just caused me to lose my mom too. You have to understand how angry and how unstable I was, Luke.”

“So,” I said shakily, “I took all of the pills, crushed them up, and found the cup of alcohol he was drinking. He was in the bathroom at the time, so I poured the crushed up pills into his drink and left. I waited in the bushes to make sure he drank it, and once he did, I went back to the car where you were waiting with the twins.

“Listen, Luke, I know you don't want to be with me anymore. I'll pack up my shit and the babies and I will be gone tonight. Just please don't call the cops on me. I'm all Lauren and Harry have. I can't live without them and they can't live witho –“ 

“Ashton, I'm not kicking you out. I'm not even sure that I'm going to break up with you,” Luke cuts me off again.

“What?” I say, thoroughly shocked.

“I'm freaked out and think we need some distance,” he clarifies, “but the situation is still the same. I need your help as much as you need mine. I can't go back home to my parents' house, and I can't afford the rent of this place by myself.”

“So where does that leave us?” I question.

“For all intents and purposes, you're under probation with me. You'll sleep on the couch for the time being and I'm keeping the security cameras up. I also want to know your work schedule so that we can sync ours together. I want our days off to be the same so that I can be home with you,” Says Luke, who was now standing with his hands on his hips.

“Luke, what exactly do you think I'd do to you?” I ask, even though I don't want to know the answer.

“I'm not sure,” he replies, “but honestly, I don't want to take any chances to find out.”

“I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Luke. You know what Rob did to my family,” I say, my voice laced with hurt.

“Well what am I supposed to think, Ashton?!” Luke says, raising his voice, “I mean, we barely know each other! We just met not even two months ago! How is a person supposed to react to their boyfriend trying to murder somebody? I, for one, think I'm handling it pretty well!”

I knew he was right; there was no arguing it. He'd taken it better than I expected him to, and I guess I should just be thankful that my siblings and I still had a place to live. That was more than I'd hoped for. For now, I should be most concerned about the fact that Rob is still alive and clearly angry at me, not that my boyfriend is upset.

Luke and I sat in silence until we heard crying from the twins room. I started to stand up until Luke shot me a glare and mumbled, “I got it.” 

It hurt that he didn't even trust me with my own siblings, but I couldn't blame him. I'd probably be treating him the same way if the situation were reversed. After all, as Luke had said, I had tried to commit murder for fuck's sake. It sounds a lot worse when you say it out loud, but either way, the fact still remains that I attempted to kill my step father.

I knew I'd have to make it up to my boyfriend (was he even still my boyfriend?) somehow, because like he'd said, we both need each other. This situation would be a lot less awkward if we could at least get along, and I didn't want to have to worry about Luke calling the cops on me whenever we had an argument. 

All of that aside, I wanted to make up with him because I'd quickly fallen in love with the dorky blonde headed boy in the few short months we'd known each other, and I didn't want to lose him when we became more stable financially. I didn't want this to be just a mutual deal for survival; I wanted us to be a family, and I'd do whatever I had to do to show Luke how much I cared.


	23. Chapter 23

\--Two months later--

Things were still rough between Luke and I, despite the amount of time that had passed. He still didn't trust me to be alone with the twins, and he still sneaks off to the couch once he thinks I'm sleeping every night. It hurt knowing he'd lost all of the trust he once had in me. We both continued to go to work every day, and we were finally getting some money saved up. Luke had gotten promoted at work, which meant an extra $5 an hour on his paychecks. There was almost enough in our savings for a down payment on a second car, not that he'd trust me to drive the twins and myself to work every day. He enjoyed being the one to drop us off and pick us up, no matter how uncomfortable it made me.

I knew something was going to have to change between Luke and I, because I couldn't stand living like this any longer. 

The clock read 5:07PM, which meant that he would be here any minute to pick me up. We both worked 9-5 every day, and he was always here to get me by 5:15. The twins were all buckled up in their car seats, ready to go. Lauren was still asleep from nap time, and Harry was wide awake and babbling away. He was kicking his feet, laughing when they would touch the ground. 

'They're outgrowing their car seats. They'll need new ones soon', I made a mental note.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a car horn beeping outside, and I knew that was Luke's way of informing me that he was here. When the twins and I were all buckled up and Luke had put the car in gear, I turned to him.

"We need to talk tonight." 

His grip on the steering wheel tightened and he clenched his jaw. I could tell he didn't want to talk to me. I knew he didn't want to be with me anymore. It was obvious. I was willing to fix things, but if he felt like we couldn't, then the twins and I had to leave. I couldn't stay in that apartment with him knowing he resents me. We either needed to work things out or go our separate ways.

"Ashton," Luke sighed, "I really don't think-"

"No," I cut him off, "We're talking tonight. No excuses."

He nodded curtly, and shot me one short-lived, side-eyed glance.

Before long, we were pulling into our designated parking space at our apartments, and he was cutting the engine. As usual, Luke got Lauren out of the car, and I got Harry and we walked together inside. Once in the door, he turned towards me.

"Okay. Let's talk," he said, making eye contact with me for the first time in weeks.

"Not now," I clarified, "Later. When the babies are in bed. I don't want any distractions."

The rest of the night moved painfully slow. We all needed showers, we had to eat dinner (though we opted for ordering pizza instead of cooking anything), and Lauren and Harry wanted to listen to at least five bedtime stories before finally drifting off to sleep. Finally, once all of this was done, Luke and I positioned ourselves on the couch to talk.

"Things have been...er...rough with us over the past few months," I state the obvious. Luke nods, but chooses not to speak. "I think this has been rough on both of us. This much stress isn't good for us or the babies." 

I glance at Luke, making sure he's listening, before continuing, "What's happening here, Luke?" I question. 

"What do you mean?" he picks at his nails.

"You've been ignoring me for two months. You won't let me be alone with my little siblings, you won't let me take the car anywhere, you won't even sleep in the same bed with me. What the hell is happening, Luke?"

"Are you surprised, Ashton? You tried to kill somebody. Are you forgetting about that? How am I supposed to trust you when you actually tried to murder someone?" I could tell he was fighting to lower his voice to avoid waking the babies up.

"You're right. I did try to kill my stepdad. The same man that killed my mom. The same man that beat me every day for the past god knows how many years. This was the same man that would also hit Lauren and Harry when they cried. If we had stayed, all three of us would be dead. Maybe I handled my anger in the wrong way, but you act like I just snapped one day and tried to kill you! Do you honestly think I'd do anything to hurt you or the twins?"

"Maybe you would, and maybe you wouldn't. I know you had a rough childhood, and I feel for you, Ashton, but I'm trying to protect myself and Lauren and Harry. You can't fault me for that. I just want what's best for us," he says, raising his voice. At this point, he was standing and starting to leave the room.

"Either we can work passed this, or we can't. Either way, tell me now. If things aren't going to get better between us then I'm going to have to leave, Luke. I can't keep living like this. I'll pack up the twins and we'll be gone so you can move on with somebody that you can trust."

My threat seemed to have sparked something inside Luke, because suddenly, he turned around and began walking back towards me. He sat back down on the couch, and sighed. I could tell he was about to speak, so I waited. I could practically see his brain working in overdrive, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He tangled his hands in his hair and began tugging at the roots, something he only did when he was stressed.

"Ashton, you can't leave," his voice softened, "I need you here. You know I need you."

"If we can't work through this then I can't stay. Decide now, Luke. Am I going or staying?"

"It's not that easy and you know it," he huffed, breaking our eye contact.

"That's not an answer," I push, also softening my voice.

"You're staying, Ashton. Of course I want you to stay," he sighs, scooting closer to me, "I'm sorry I've been so tough on you. I know all of the shit your stepdad put you through. We're going to try to get through this." 

Luke gently laid his head on my shoulder, and as soon as his skin toughed mine, I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. I laid my head on top of Luke's and put my arm around his shoulders. For the first time in two months, things felt right again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Updates will be frequent again. I got super busy with schoolwork, but it's summer now and i have no friends so I have plenty of time now!


	24. Chapter 24

Luke and I decided to go to bed soon after our conversation, as we both seemed to be exhausted by the talk. Not only did I feel better after we'd talked, but I could tell he did, too. We were both chatty and giddy, excited to discuss everything we'd missed in the past two months. Luke was also being incredibly touchey-feely with me, which was, of course, okay with me. I'd missed our deep talks, our hand-holding, our light bedtime kisses, and Luke had been making sure to give me each of these things.

As of now, I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, and Luke was already in bed. He told me he'd find a good movie for us to watch while I was doing my night routine, and I wasn't about to tell him no. This was the first night in months where we were actually sleeping in the same bed, and I didn't plan on messing anything up. 

Lauren and Harry had long since been sleeping completely through the night, so now that they were in bed, we didn't have to worry about any distractions. The twins were nearing two years old, which saddened me more than anything else. Luke and I had made plans to throw them a huge second birthday party since they never got a first birthday, but that was before our problems began. Now that we were okay again, I knew the plans were probably still on, I just didn't want to discuss this stuff so soon.

I could hear the bed springs creak, meaning Luke had probably found a movie and was getting settled in bed. This was my cue to hurry up. I spit out my mouthful of toothpaste and quickly rinsed with mouthwash, being sure to avoid bad breath at all costs. That would be a moodkiller. Things had to go perfectly tonight, and I was determined to make that happen. 

"Ashton? Baby?" Luke called from the bedroom. I blushed at the petname. It had been a very long time since Luke had called me baby.

"I'm coming," I called back, turning the bathroom light out as I left. The bedroom door was closed, which was odd. We normally kept the door open unless we were sleeping. I threw the door open and suddenly realized why it had been kept closed. Luke was sprawled across the bed, completely naked, his dick fully erect.

"Holy shit," I sighed. I was already hardening in my pants, and I was sure Luke could tell. He stood from his position on the bed, seductively walked towards me, and pulled me backwards towards him. The second we were on the bed, his mouth found mine. His breath tasted like I remembered. It was a mixture of mint and orange, something that doesn't sound like a good combination but was totally and perfectly just Luke. 

Our tongues danced around in each other's mouths, and Luke's hands were tangled in my hair. 

As much as I was enjoying this, something didn't feel right. I wanted to continue, but I knew it would be better if we waited a while. We'd just made up today, and I didn't want to ruin anything by having sex with him tonight.

"Luke?" I gasped, pulling my mouth off of his.

"What's the matter?" He questioned, sitting back.

"Nothing, baby, nothing. It's just--I was thinking--maybe we should wait a couple of days before we have sex again. That's all," I said softly.

Luke looked hurt, "You don't want to have sex with me? Why not?"

"Luke, I want to have sex with you. So fucking badly. But we just made up. I think we still have more to talk about. I just don't want you to end up regretting anything, okay?" I explained gently. Luke still didn't look happy about my decision, but I could tell he understood.

"That's okay, I guess," he mumbled, "Cuddling would be nice, anyway." I grinned and threw my arms around him. He snuggled into my chest.

"You smell good," he muttered, wrapping his arms around me. I knew he wasn't upset with me anymore, and I knew we were going to be okay.

"Goodnight, baby," I whispered as I turned the bedside lamp out.

"'Night, Ash," Luke yawned. 

Luke was asleep less than five minutes later. I was exhausted enough to fall asleep on the spot, but I forced myself to stay up. I was admiring Luke's small body, all cuddled up into me. It had been a long time since we were this intimate, and I missed it more than anything. Luke and the twins were my whole world, and it felt like I'd just gotten my world back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may write an actual smut scene before the end of the story. I think I'll be ending this soon. I have more ideas and could continue the story, but only if it's something you guys would want.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to retype this chapter twice because my shitty laptop deleted it. Fml.
> 
> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, I've had a lot going on and have been traveling a lot. My college classes start tomorrow so I'm going to try to update at least once a week, but preferably twice a week.
> 
> If there's anything in particular that you guys would like to see happen before the end of the story, let me know and I'll try to add it in!

I sighed in relief when I glanced at the clock. Finally, time to clock out. I was quite literally up to my elbows in shit, and I was so ready to go home. One of the students here, a two year old named Nicolas, had a diaper blowout, which I was left to clean up. This was the downside to the job; getting covered in bodily fluids was a normal day. As much as I loved my job, I couldn't wait to get home and curl up on the couch with Luke. 

At the thought of my boyfriend, my eyes immediately went to the window to check the parking lot. As if on cue, his car pulled into the lot. I couldn't help the cheesy grin that broke out on my face as I set Nicolas back in his crib. As quickly as I could, I thoroughly washed my hands in the sink and buckled my siblings into their car seats. Harry was sleeping peacefully, seeing as it was his nap time, but Lauren was wide awake and chattered incoherently to me as I carried them both outside. Luke was standing outside of the car, waiting to help me when I pushed open the double-doors and made my way to him.

"Hey, baby," I greeted him, leaning in for a kiss.

"Hi, Ash. How was your day?" he responded, skillfully dodging my kiss and taking a sleeping Harry in his car seat from my arms. I pouted to myself, before recovering quickly.

"Horrible. I was covered in feces again. But, hey, all in a day's work," I joked, buckling Lauren into the car. Luke did the same with Harry, and we both climbed into the car at the same time. Luke hummed thoughtfully, but didn't respond. I knew he was acting odd, but I didn't want to call him out. We'd been getting along so well, and I didn't want to ruin that. He'd probably just had a bad day at work. No point at making a mountain out of a molehill. 

"What do you want for dinner?" I tried to change the subject. If I was being honest, I only asked because I was expecting his usual response of 'you, of course' accompanied by a wink. I always acted like it annoyed me, but deep down, we both knew I loved it. 

"I'm not very hungry. You can choose," he answered, staring straight at the road. His jaw was clenched, his hands tight on the wheel. My heart sank. Something was wrong. We'd just started getting along again, and he was already mad at me. What had I done this time? I'd practically been walking on eggshells since we'd made up, trying my best to avoid a conflict. How could I have possibly made him mad?

Had he simply changed his mind and realized he didn't want to be with me anymore? That had been my worst fear all along. 

Before my mind could wander anymore, we arrived at our apartment. Luke had already unbuckled Harry and begun carrying him to the door before I had even unbuckled my seat belt. I scurried to catch up with him, all while making funny faces at a giggling Lauren. No matter how upset or stressed I was, I couldn't let my siblings sense that. After all they'd been through, they didn't deserve any more stress or unhappiness.

Luke was in our bedroom with the door closed by the time I was inside. He must've put Harry in his crib, because he was nowhere to be seen in the living room.

\--

By the time bedtime rolled around, Luke had still barely spoken to me, and it wasn't until we were laying in bed together that I started to ask questions.

"What's going on, Luke?" I asked, "Did I do something?"

"No," Luke sighed, "It's just--never mind. Forget it."

"What is it?" I asked, rubbing my fingers up and down Luke's chest. This was his favorite when he was stressed. He always said it helped to calm him down.

"It's nothing. I don't want to talk about it." 

And with that, Luke pushed my hand away and rolled towards the wall. The discussion was over. So, I fought back the anxious, nagging feeling and forced myself to sleep. We were both off work tomorrow, and I was going to figure out what was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, it's currently 11pm and I have to get up at 5am for my college classes. I'll try to write a longer chapter tomorrow! Leave a comment guessing why Luke is upset!


	26. Chapter 26

By the next morning, Luke seemed to have recovered. He was in a much better mood and actually woke me up to breakfast in bed. It was a cute surprise, but I was majorly confused. Where had this sudden attitude change come from? He seemed to want nothing to do with me last night, but this morning, he was acting like he was competing for the 'boyfriend of the year' award. I didn't want to flat-out ask him what was happening, because I didn't want to upset him again. 

"Luke, baby? You feeling okay?" I asked him gently as he was cutting my pancakes into tiny squares for me.

"Hmm..? I'm fine, babe. Why are you asking?" He questioned, pouring the small saucer of syrup over my pancakes.

"You just...I don't know. You've never done this before."

Luke nodded but didn't answer. He finished arranging my food how he wanted it, then motioned for me to begin eating. We sat in silence for a few moments while I ate my food (which was surprisingly delicious) and he picked at his fingers.

"Well, I'm going to go give the twins a bath while you finish this," Luke informed me before giving me a passionate kiss and walking out of the bedroom. He'd been gone for less than two minutes before he popped his head back in to grab his cell phone from the night stand. This action alone was enough to make me suspicious, since we'd always been open about our phones. Why did he need his if he was only giving the babies a bath? Was he afraid of me seeing something I wouldn't like? Who was he talking to that he didn't want me to know about? Was he cheating on me? I knew it was a huge reach, but Luke had never cared about leaving his phone in the same room as me before. Why was it only a big deal now? I tried to remain calm, and tried reassuring myself that he was probably just waiting on a phone call, or needed to answer a text, but I still wasn't convinced. I didn't want to invade Luke's privacy by going through his phone with this as my only suspicion, but I didn't know what else to do to ease my concern. Lauren shrieked in laughter from the bathroom, and I felt myself smile. He definitely was great with the twins (who were beginning to walk and speak now), but I couldn't figure out why his emotions had been all over the place the past couple of days. Again, I didn't want to flat-out ask him what was going on, but I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until I found out what was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at frequent updates. I'm sorry for the billionth time. I swear I'll finish this story eventually. There will be a longer chapter coming next that I'm going to start on as soon as this is posted, but I just wanted to give you guys a quick update.


	27. Chapter 27

I still had my suspicions about Luke, but I didn't want to accuse him of anything. I was still trying to convince myself that everything was okay, and the fact that Luke was basically kissing my ass wasn't easing my suspicions at all. Besides that, he was still taking his phone everywhere with him. Unless he was using it (which was more often than usual), his cell phone was in his pocket. This activity alone was completely unusual for Luke. He'd never been so attached to his phone.

At least his relationship with the twins hadn't changed. He was still the same Luke with them, which I was more than grateful for. No matter what happened between he and I, I still wanted him to be there for Lauren and Harry. They were attached to him by now, and there was no point in making them suffer because of our problems.

Luke was currently at work, and, since it was my day off, I was relaxing on the couch with a cup of coffee. The twins were napping, which I was thankful for. It gave me time to clear my head and try to think rationally. Of course my first thought was that he was cheating, but I tried to steer my brain away from that assumption. Maybe he'd found a new game that he was really into, or maybe he made a new friend at work and had been conversing with her a lot lately. There were other explanations, but none of them made a whole lot of sense. At least, not to me.

Other than searching his phone, I wasn't sure of what else to do. I definitely knew it was an invasion of trust, but I had to ease my fears somehow. If I didn't, I'd ruin our relationship anyway by worrying so much. I hated that it had gotten to this point, especially since it had only been a couple of days, but really, it was Luke's fault, not mine. As horrible as I felt about planning to go through his cell phone, I knew that he brought it on himself.

What if he was cheating, though?

Oh god. What would I do? Where would I go? I couldn't stay here and face Luke every day, but I wouldn't have any other options. I couldn't afford my own place with just my income, and I sure as hell couldn't let myself become homeless with the twins. That was the one thing I promised would never happen. I had to protect those babies, even if it meant staying in a situation that wasn't ideal.

Why would he cheat on me? Was I not good enough? Sure, he'd found out what I'd done to my stepdad, but I thought he'd forgiven me for that. 

Just then, I had a horrible thought.

What if he hadn't forgiven me? Maybe he was scared to leave. After all, he did find out that I tried to poison my stepdad. What if he thought I'd try to hurt him if he left? 

This made me want to search his phone even more, to find out what, exactly, he was hiding. I couldn't let him get my siblings taken away from me; he had to know that I wasn't dangerous. Sure, I'd made a mistake. But wasn't it understandable? Wouldn't anybody have done the same thing in my situation? 

\--------------

"Ashton? Baby?" Luke called as he unlocked the front door and threw it open, "I'm home."

I was still laying on the couch, but now, the twins were sitting on the floor in front of me, watching cartoons on the television.

"How was work today?" I asked, glancing up from the book I was reading. Luke was nearly an hour and a half late getting home, but upon seeing the bags in his hand, it made sense why. He had gone shopping. His arms were full of bags from Target.

"It was fine. I stopped on my way home and picked up a few things, so you wouldn't have to go grocery shopping later in the week. Hope that's okay, baby," he said as he leaned down and pecked my cheek.

"Of course it's okay," I said, my face probably showing my confusion. Luke never went grocery shopping; he hated it. I followed him to the kitchen so I could help him put everything away.

"How was your day, love?" He leaned in for yet another kiss, and I happily obliged. Even though I knew something was up, I had to admit, I was loving the extra attention, even though I was confused.

"It was fine," I repeated his sentence from earlier, "I did a little bit of housework, but mostly just relaxed."

Luke grinned down at me before speaking. "That's good. You deserved a break. You do so much around here."

As much as I enjoyed the praise Luke was giving me, I was beyond unsettled by his demeanor. I didn't plan on calling him out on his behavior, but I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

"Hey, Luke?" 

"Hmm?" He hummed.

"What's going on with you?" I questioned, fighting the urge to look at him. Instead, I focused my attention on organizing the cabinet I was standing in front of.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I bit my lip, "Don't get me wrong, babe, I've loved how kind and helpful you've been, but it's completely not like you. What's going on?"

"I've just been trying to make you happy, Ashton." Luke set the bag of groceries he was unloading onto the counter and took a step back, "If you'd rather I didn't help or show my appreciation, then fine. You got it." He turned and began to leave the kitchen, but I stopped him by grabbing his shoulder.

"Luke, you don't need to get worked up. I'm just trying to figure out if anything changed. That's all. Don't get defensive on me," I tell him, and he turns around to face me.

"I just can't believe," he mumbles, "That out of all things to get mad at me for, it's because I'm being a considerate boyfriend."

"I'm not mad at you, Luke. I'm just confused. And your attitude right now isn't helping with that. We both know there's something more going on than you trying to be a 'considerate boyfriend'. If there wasn't, you wouldn't be so possessive of your phone all of a sudden," I blurt out, and Luke's face falls.

"You noticed-"

"Yeah, I fucking noticed. So, Luke, what the hell is going on?"

"Look, Ashton, I need to tell you something. And you're not going to like it."

I raised my eyebrows, waiting on him to continue. Before he said anything else, he grabbed me by the arm and walked me to our bedroom and motioned for me to sit on our bed. Once I was seated and the door was closed, I waited for him to begin.

"We're in trouble, Ash. I've been speaking to my mother and-"

"You've been talking to your parents?" I interrupt, "How could you have not told me that?"

"Would you let me finish?" He asks impatiently.

"Sorry, yeah."  
"Your dad...shit, your stepdad," he corrects himself when he noticed the disgusted facial expression I made, "reported the twins as missing. The police pieced everything together about the times of our disappearing, and they know it's us. The cops are looking for us."

I tried to search his face, to find any hope that he's lying. Compared to the news he just told me, I'd almost rather he tell me that he'd been having an affair. At least then, Lauren and Harry would still be safe.

"Your parents are going to help us, right?" I asked. Even I didn't know how they could help at all, but it was better than nothing. Luke and I barely had enough money to survive, let alone to skip town again and find a new place to live. 

"Actually," he sighed, "They said they'd help you." 

"Me?" I asked, "What are they going to do for me?"

"They said they'll only help if I come home. If I leave you and the twins and go back to them, they said they'd give you enough money to get somewhere safer. Otherwise, they said they'll tell the police everything. Including where we live."

"What the hell are we going to do?!" I exclaim, no longer able to keep myself calm.

"I guess we better start packing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little bit of a longer chapter. This story is about to take a major turn.


End file.
